Dear Parents,
Please don’t read this blog post. I promise I’ll have a new one up in a few days, okay? Thanks, I love you!
xxoooo Silvia
On my last morning in Penang I was eating breakfast with Shilpa, an Indian girl staying in my dorm, and she surprised me by saying, “I’m not sure I feel safe walking around George Town.”
I was surprised because I had thought I was the only one.
Most tourists in Penang wear shorts and tank tops, but I felt a little uneasy doing the same when local women even had their heads covered. On the one day I did venture out in shorts I quickly returned to my hostel to change because it seemed like everyone I walked past was staring at my legs.
I also was a little taken aback by how friendly the locals were, with men constantly calling out greetings to me or jumping up to offer to show me around. It was definitely a change from Thailand, where locals are pretty shy with foreigners.
Okay and I also think I was being totally racist. I hate admitting this, but I’m pretty sure a big reason I was so on edge was because wandering around Little India really felt like being in India, where I’ve probably had the most trouble with local men (number two would be Japan).
“It’s bad because I look Indian, so they expect me to act Indian,” Shilpa explained to me. “Then again, with your blonde hair they’ll have some ideas about you as well.”
I thought about Shilpa’s words as I sat next to the minivan driver who was taking me, along with a bunch of Chinese girls, to our bus to Kuala Lumpur. I’m sure local men do have ideas about backpackers in Penang, especially when they watch them drunkenly stumbling home each night, sometimes stopping to puke on their doorsteps. This in a place where television shows bleep out the word “sex” (at least on one channel I watched!). Sometimes it’s hard not to feel guilty about being a backpacker in Southeast Asia.
Vincent seemed thrilled to have someone to chat with while driving, and so I tried my best to make polite conversation during the five minutes it took for us to arrive at the bus stop. But then when we arrived he told me that this wasn’t my bus.
Something didn’t feel right.
I hopped out of the van, wondering why I would be the only person going to a different bus, but when I went up to the bus driver, who was talking to Vincent, and went to show him my ticket he just smiled and waved me away. It seemed strange, but I also wasn’t going to be that crazy white girl demanding to board a bus that she didn’t actually have a ticket for, so I got back in the van with Vincent.
I immediately knew that something was off, which in itself is a pretty big deal since I have an incredibly weak danger radar. I asked Vincent why I was the only one getting a different bus, and he launched into the sort of lengthy, over-detailed explanation that people only give when they are lying.
And then we went for a drive.
Maybe it was just Vincent’s manic personality, but it seemed like he was nervous. He wouldn’t stop talking and kept laughing loudly at any small response I gave.
He asked me if I had a boyfriend, and then why my boyfriend wasn’t traveling with me, and then he told me how much he wished Indian girls were more like Western women.
Vincent: “You can’t date an Indian girl because then you have to marry her. Western girls know how to have fun even when they aren’t married, HAHAHAHAHA.”
Me: “ha, ha, huh?”
Vincent: “Do you like Penang? You should stay for a few more days. I would be happy to show you around HAHAHA! You will think you were so lucky to have me as a driver.”
At this point I stopped trying to be polite and told him that I was really upset this was taking so long and that I would have to write the bus company (Newsia Express) a bad review, because I was supposed to have left for KL twenty minutes ago.
Vincent: “Are you scared? You can trust me. You are in safe hands HAHAHAHA!”
I did my best not to burst into tears.
As is probably the case for most female travelers, this wasn’t the first time I had been in a situation like this, like that time those Tajik immigration officials refused to let us into Uzbekistan until we had “partied” with them, so I tried to just keep calm. Funnily enough (well, funny in retrospect) I was wearing this t-shirt at the time:
I started texting my “friends in KL” who I told Vincent were meeting me at the bus station there, hoping that he didn’t notice that the phone I was using was actually an iPod touch.
We continued driving around Penang’s backstreets, and I started to sulk as obnoxiously as I could, hoping that Vincent would lose interest.
I guess it worked, because finally he turned to me and said, “You know European women look a lot older than Asians. You’re probably only twenty, but actually you look thirty.”
Ouch!
A few minutes later we arrived back at the bus terminal, and I grabbed my bags and booked it to the nearest bus. Well, not before snapping a photo of my new BFF.
And oh hey, when I boarded the bus whom did I see but the same Chinese girls who had been in the minivan with me.
I guess Vincent knew that the bus wouldn’t be leaving for a while, so he decided to help me kill time by granting me the pleasure of his company. Maybe I had been overreacting just a tad when we were driving down those deserted alleys.
Then the bus driver came through to check tickets, and when he saw me he stopped in surprise.
“You’re here!” He looked confused. “Your driver said that you were staying in Penang.”
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Justine says
Ugh, that makes me so sad that you had such a bad experience. I think I’m super sensitive about reading stories like this because of my recent taxi experience. But, man, it’s so freaky to have strange men just drive you around. And I really don’t like that he was actually picking up on you. I’m glad you at least got to your bus ok! Ha, I love that you captured a photo of the driver. Too funny! Hopefully you have nothing but good experiences for the rest of your travels!
Silvia says
That’s funny because I was super sensitive about reading about your taxi experience because I had just had this bad experience in Penang! It always takes me a while to recover after experiences like this, but luckily I have beautiful beaches on Boracay now to help me through it 🙂
Beryl Gaia says
I’ve come across this blog post after searching about Penang’s safety. At the same time, I’m relieved that you enjoyed your stay in Boracay. Safe travels, Silvia!
Nicole says
Hi there! I know this comment is wayyy past when you wrote this article, & it’s horrible to read about your experience, but I’m glad that you are doing well now! I wanted to ask if you happen to have a picture of Shilpa & yourself together or even a picture just of her? By no means am I trying to intrude on your privacy or hers, but I really do think I know her from a youth organization that she volunteered at in 2015 in Chicago, IL, & that’s where I met her 😊. Her name and ethnicity sound so familiar!
Joe says
This is your father. As you know, I have never commented on your website before (I thought it might embarrass you). But I thought this time it was important to comment, just to let you know that my heart started beating again once I came to the end and realized that you were safe after all.
Next time I promise not to read when you say “don’t read.”
Silvia says
Don’t be silly, I would always be nothing but overjoyed to receive a blog comment from my beloved father! Well, except when I explicitly state at the beginning of the post that I don’t want him to read it. Ugh parents, no respect for a daughter’s privacy!
Megan says
whoaaaa dude. glad you’re safe and sound. experiences like these can be so awful and freak us out. but sadly, they do make for the best stories 🙂 thanks for sharing and stay safe out there! <3
Silvia says
Ha that’s true at least. When I told my friends about it almost all of them had similar stories to share, like the time my friend’s driver in the Egyptian desert told her the ride would be free if she would have sex with him. Made for an awkward rest of the drive… So like, at least my situation could have been worse!
Nate says
Silvia, I feel sorry for your Dad 😉
Glad it all worked out, maybe learn some self-defense moves or something for next time something likt this happens.
Silvia’s Dad, don’t worry, there won’t be a next time.
Probably.
Or maybe there will…
Nah, I doubt it.
But then again…
Silvia says
Oh, I was totally prepared to fight the guy! I knew exactly where my pepper spray was.
In my bag.
That was in the trunk…
Rebekah says
that’s horrible. Its hard not to freak out in those situations because you just don’t know what’s going to happen. It always makes me so angry. China is so safe that I don’t have to worry much, but if that happened to me I would have been a mess. Good job at surviving!!!
Silvia says
I was SO angry with the guy as it was happening. I think my anger actually kept me calm during the whole ordeal. It’s crazy because Southeast Asia is so popular with tourists, but I actually feel so much safer traveling in places like China or Central Asia.
Jameela Deen says
OMG this is soooo scary and i’m very impressed by the way you handled it without seeming to panic. So glad you’re OK. Hurry up to write a new post though or your folks will be terrified.
Silvia says
Haha I was definitely panicking on the inside! I don’t know why, but in situations like this I always feel like I have to act super calm and as if nothing sketchy is actually going on, because if I do freak out then the guy will take that as a cue to actually do something horrible, whereas if I act normal then he will too. Totally illogical, I know.
Ashley | Ashley Wanders says
That sounds so scary! I’m glad everything worked out and you made it on your bus safely. I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant reliving this experience, but thanks for sharing and kudos on how you handled the situation!
Silvia says
I was sort of torn about sharing this experience because for the most part I want this blog to encourage people to travel, not scare people off of it, but situations like these do happen to female travelers all the time so I decided it’s important to address that. But yeah, I was SO relieved to make it onto that bus safely. And was a blubbering mess for most of the ride, ha.
Mohana says
OMG. that’s crazy. good thing you snapped his picture, so everyone else can know whom to avoid. Take care!!
Silvia says
That was the point! And also so I could send his photo along with an angry email to the hostel that arranged the minivan.
Charlie says
Oh my gosh, that’s the worst! I would feel so sick if something like that happened to me, but it sounds like you handled it very cool and effectively. Glad to hear that the story didn’t take a bad turn…
Silvia says
Ugh I did feel sick with anger as it was happening. Like, when I said goodbye to Vincent I really wanted to punch him in the face, but instead acted like we were friends so I could take a photo of him to warn other girls. But if I ever see him again!
Jayne says
It makes my heart race reading your experience (and not in a good way.) I have had a very similar experience in Vietnam and it makes me sad to think we are just 2 of many who have experienced the same. But I’m so glad you don’t let this hold you back on your travels. It sounds like you handled the situation remarkably well. Wishing you a safe onward journey. Keep sharing these honest and insightful posts 😉
Silvia says
It’s so sad that most female travelers I meet have stories like this, especially if they’re traveling alone. I actually hesitated publishing this because I don’t ever want to scare anyone off of traveling, but it is a fairly common thing to experience. Still, at least now I have gorgeous Philippine beaches to comfort me. Travel isn’t all bad 🙂
REY says
NOW IM PRETTY SURE BORACAY WILL ERASE THAT SCARY MOMENT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH. HAVE A GREAT TIME! DON’T FORGET TO VISIT PUKA SHELL BEACH AND BULABOG BEACH WHILE AT IT.
Silvia says
Thanks, I just went to Puka Shell Beach today! Oh my goodness this Boracay is beautiful. Definitely what I needed after this scary experience 🙂
REY says
If I may share this to you and your followers, for them to see what Boracay has in store for them when visiting the place. Enjoy the rest of your stay Silvia! http://shotsandtrails.blogspot.com/2014/08/boracay-island-philippines-worlds-best-party-island-budget.html
Silvia says
Thanks, Rey!
Christie of The Butterfly Editions says
Oh wow, what a terrifying experience! Thankfully you got through it unscathed, and thanks for sharing. I head to Penang tomorrow, so will be taking extra care!
Silvia says
Ahh, I hope this didn’t scare you – most people in Penang are really nice! But if you see Vincent, stay away! (Or punch him in the face for me.)
Aaron says
Holy scheisengubben! Stay safe, girl. Heart beating rapidly. Stay alert and don’t be afraid to open up a can of whoopass/ start screaming while flailing fists and arms about wildly when you need to.
Silvia says
Haha at one point I did have my hand on a ballpoint pen inside my purse in preparation for a fight.
Joella J in Beijing says
Oh no- I would have been really scared. It sounds like he was definitely being really dodgy- but I’m so glad everything turned out ok!
Silvia says
Yeah he was a total creeper, but at least he didn’t follow through with anything. Ugh, some guys!
Marie @ Marie Away says
What a crazy experience. I’m so impressed at how you were able to be so calm and smart about it. It’s sad that solo female travelers have to be so careful about these kinds of situations.
Silvia says
Yeah it really is sad that solo travel has its dangerous side, however slight. At least the joys of traveling outweigh awful experiences like this!
Michele {Malaysian Meanders} says
Oh my goodness. That’s terrible. I would be freaking out. I always felt so safe walking around Penang, even at night by myself. On the other hand, since I’m Asian American, I felt like I really blended in and that people wouldn’t be making as many assumptions about me.
Silvia says
I can’t count the number of times during these past four years in Asia that I’ve wished I looked Asian, or at least had dark hair! I almost dyed it a few times, but decided having blonde roots would look pretty silly, haha.
Jessica Dawdy says
Creepy! I definitely know that feeling of being corralled along by mini-van drivers, told where to go and what to do, but not feeling like everything is 100% right. It’s tough to be speak up because everything happens so quickly and you just assume you’re being paranoid. I’m glad everything worked out ok in the end.
Silvia says
Right? A tiny part of me still wonders if I was just being insanely paranoid. Like, maybe he really thought I was on a different bus, and then got so nervous and chatty because he realized he had made a mistake. I mean, I know I’m just making excuses for him and that he was being totally creepy, but it sucks that we can never really be sure when we’re in foreign places!
Abbi says
Oh Gosh Syliva, that sounds scary!
I was in Penang in July, and loved the place, but didn’t venture out on my own at night, due to those very reasons. I covered up at all times, and never showed much leg. Strange, as in other places in Malaysia (KL, Meleka and Cameron Higlands) I felt fine.
Glad you’re ok – keep on adventuring!
Silvia says
I wonder what it is about Penang, because I felt find in KL as well. I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt like I needed to cover up. Seeing so many tourists in shorts made me feel like I was being totally paranoid!
urbanguy says
Hi Silvia. Sorry to hear about your horrible experience.
As a Malaysian, I wonder where travelers’ concerns about covering up in Penang are coming from, especially if they didn’t feel the same concerns in KL? It can’t be due to the local population’s religious sensitivities.
Both the Penang (state) and KL (federal territory) are similar in that neither has an overall religious majority. According to the 2010 census data, Penang state is about 45% Muslim, 36% Buddhist, 9% Hindu, 5% Christian and 5% Other/Non-religious. Further, although data for the city of George Town is not available, the fact that it has an ethnic Chinese majority (~60%) likely means that it also has a Buddhist majority.
Silvia says
Those statistics are so interesting! I do wonder why I felt less comfortable in Penang. I will say I felt the discomfort the most when going through Muslim areas where the women were really covered up. Maybe because George Town is a smaller city and a lot of backpackers go there and some drink a lot, the locals have specific ideas about foreigners (it also doesn’t help that I’m tall and blonde). Whereas in KL there are a lot of Western expats living there too, so it’s a little easier to blend in there as a foreigner.
Micamyx|Senyorita says
That’s scary! I’m glad you were calm and projected an impression that scared him off. I haven’t been to Penang, but I felt safe when I was roaming around KL and Cameron Highlands. Tsktsk. Glad you’re safe!
Silvia says
I felt safe in KL as well. I think Penang might be a little different because it’s a small city but there are so many backpackers there partying there that the locals probably have a bad impression of them. Though I’m sure I would have felt fine if I had been in a group!
Natasha Amar says
Such a shame this happens to us, when we’re trying to inspire other females to travel solo. I have had similar experiences in Sapa, Vietnam when the manager of the guest house where I was staying insisted too many times that my room mate and I go party with his friends. The situation became unpleasant because neither of us wanted to ever be alone in the guest house and we moved out. It really angers me when they have this stupid opinion of foreign women just because we are independent enough to travel solo.
Glad to hear that you were safe at the end of this episode. It takes courage to be as composed as you were. Maybe the T-shirt helped?!
Silvia says
Ugh what an awful experience! I’m sort of used to creepy behavior from drivers, but in a guest house it’s so important to feel safe! I’m glad you guys got out of there. And yes, I’m totally crediting my t-shirt for keeping me calm, haha.
Aminah says
ohh… that’s scary… when i was in Penang early this year.. i went to have Nasi Kandar at night. i and my friend walked back to hostel about 11.00 pm. there is one Indian guy on a motorbike smiling at me. i thought Penang people really that friendly. so i reply his smile. but, somehow i realize he started to follow me and my friend. it’s really freak us out. we try to get in to shops on our way.. that man waited us outside. suddenly we found a group of boys walking towards same road with us, so we get close with them until we reach our hostel. fred or not, after we go in. that man still waiting outside and makes noisy sounds of his motorbike!! they might be friendly, but please don’t trust them… i am a Malaysian. it’s hurt me to see that this things happen in my country… =(
Silvia says
Oh wow, your story gave me chills, and not the good kind! I sort of thought I was being targeted for being a foreigner, but I guess that sort of thing can happen in your own country too! I mean, stuff like this definitely happens in America all the time. I’m so glad that you made it back to your hostel safely.
Aria says
Hi dear Silvia,
I was really upset when I got to know what happened to you there.
I have lived in Malaysia for 6 years and I felt you very well when you explained your awful experience. I’m not racist but I must say the most dangerous people in the world are Indian (TAMIL) with very black colour skin as I believe their hearts are like their skin so black. They are uncultured people and morality has no place in their believes and behaviour.
I am writing this to inform everyone who are planning to go to places where they live. To warn them seriously.
I’m really happy that you skip from that devil like an angel. God will never leave you alone.
Take care,
Your Iranian friend Aria
Dwene says
Hey Aria, you’ve got some serious issue right there woman. You should take a reality check about what you just posted, we could also say the same stuff about Iranians. I’m not even gonna condemn about what your remarks being shallow as you’re. Now, didn’t expect a person who travels to have such a shallow mind. It happens everywhere and it so happened in Penang-Little India. Being a local Malaysian Indian not a Penangite, I don’t know what Vincent had in mind, but rest assured if he did wanted to kidnap and rape her, it wouldn’t take long especially not when he dropped her off.
And to Silvia, this is not something that should hinder you from visiting my country. Hope you’ve learnt a thing or two from this.
Silvia says
You’re right – this sort of thing can happen anywhere! I wouldn’t say I’ve exactly learned something from this, as I’ve had similar experiences in the past, but it was reassuring to know that I was able to keep calm in the situation and put him off. Thank goodness!
Aria says
Dwene if people express the reality, they are not shallow minded. I’m just sorry that I opened your eyes on bitter truth about Tamil guys.
I have been witness of many cases like this in KL. It’s something normal there but I had no chance to express it.
I know it’s really difficult and painful for you to accept it and I don’t expect you to do. It’s not a matter at all.
We are not here to argue, we are here to share our experiences in order to have a safe trip and not to be in any trap anytime.
You know yourself that in KL and Penang most of gangsters who run dirty businesses are Tamil guys. If you don’t know you can go and check.
I just warned everybody who reads this article to be careful there. You are free to be angry and not to accept it but I believe about what I mentioned and I’m so GLAD that she skipped from that dirty man.
Silvia says
Haha I love the idea of “skipping from the devil like an angel.” I do think I was lucky. This was a scary experience, but one that I know many women have all over the world, including in their home countries, so it’s definitely not just an Indian thing. More like a creepy guy thing, ugh.
Aria says
I should admit that I was really angry when I posted that comments. It’s because I know that most of Tamil guys there are busy doing this, even they are looking for any possible chance.
Anyway, I’m just really glad for you.
Good luck and take care.
Silvia says
Thanks, dear!
Jasmine @ NomadGirl.co says
Oh my gosh ! i am so glad you got to the bus safe.. A similar thing happened to me but on a motorbike . So glad your fine, and Penang probably does feel fine to wear shorts around when your travelling in a group, but as a fellow solo female traveller i too don’t feel safe without covering up.. and blonde hair kind of gains a lot of attention in Asia too… Donut Panic. i love it. happy travels, so glad i found your blog its great 🙂
Silvia says
Thanks, Jasmine, and you’re right – being a blonde giant definitely doesn’t help me blend in here! I’m sorry you also had an experience like this. It really seems like most female travelers have, which is just awful!
Adrian Ann says
I have always wondered if I would share a post like this, for fear of scaring people as well. I think you are like me, where you are naturally a very nice person and it can get you into trouble sometimes. In the end, I think I would do what you did, and share the real side of being a solo female backpacker. Thanks for being so honest, I’m glad that everything turned out ok, I have to believe that it always will (for my own sanity). Trust your gut though, it’s usually right! Cheers to continued safety. And I think there should be a special way to post things that parents (and grandparents) can’t see. My blog would be a bit different if this was an option! lol
Silvia says
Yeah I definitely hesitate about posting this, but in the end I think it’s important to acknowledge that bad sides of travel as well. And you’re so right – in these situations I always try to be nice and polite, even when I know something is off, which probably doesn’t help. Maybe I should start sending these sorts of stories only to my email subscribers or something though, so that I can take my family members off the list and they won’t have to worry, haha.
Miquel says
Wow this is awful! So scary! I’m glad to hear that your ok. Thoughts about situations like this are always in the back of my mind when I hop into a taxi alone. Luckily I haven’t experienced anything like this so far.
Silvia says
I’m so glad you haven’t had a bad experience like this, Miquel! Most of the time people are so kind to travelers, I think I just had a bit of bad luck here.
Franca says
You handled very well, if it was me I would have probably started panicking and made the whole situation worse.
Silvia says
Haha I was definitely panicking on the inside, but somehow I felt like I needed to act fairly normal so that the driver would too (maybe not the best logic?).
Cassandra says
What a scary situation! I’m so relieved that your story didn’t end in a terrifying conclusion. Was the driver working for an actual company or with a hostel? Hope you can report the event so this doesn’t happen again.
Also–how did your new “friend” react when you asked to you snap a picture of him?!
Silvia says
He was working with the Newsia Express bus company. I’ve forwarded this post to the hostel that arranged the minivan, so hopefully they’ll do something about it!
Calley says
Oh my gosh that’s horrible! I’ve had some pretty bad cab rides but none this bad! The scariest one I had was in Ireland and the driver was DRUNK and driving/speeding the WRONG WAY down the streets of Dublin and just babbling! My friend and I had him let us out as soon as possible and we just walked the rest of the way.
Silvia says
Ughh drunk cab drivers are the WORST! Good on you for getting out of that car! My friend and I had a drunk driver take us through a winding mountain road in Kyrgyzstan in the middle of the night. Some of the scariest thirty minutes of my life!
yara coelho says
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m also a travel blogger and had a very horrible experience in Penang with Indian guys masturbating at my bedroom door and below my window. Penang is NOT safe for females. Here’s the post I wrote to warn out other females: http://www.heartofavagabond.com/sexual-harassment-in-penang-safety-facts-for-female-travelers/
Silvia says
Whaaat that’s horrible! Ugh, sometimes men are just the worst! I’m glad you wrote about it – just wish I had read the post before going to Penang!
Jimmy Dau says
How creepy. Thank god you got there safely in the end.
Silvia says
Seriously thankful for that, phew!
Marta Kulesza says
Since few months back I started carrying pepper spray with me, obviously not always, I don’t want to stress myself out, but whenever I think it might get dangerous. Taxi drivers always creep me out and the more stories I hear about them the more reluctant I get to actually get into a taxi. I am glad he only wanted to have a chat with you. And don’t worry, you look 20 not 30! 🙂 What a d**k!
Silvia says
I actually had pepper spray in my backpack… which was in the back of the minivan, oops. Next time I’ll be more prepared! And thanks, it was almost funny for him to call me 30 like that, because obviously he meant it as an insult, which made me feel like he thought I could be 20? haha
Katie Featherstone says
Fuck, that’s horrible. Glad you’re ok. A very awful thing happened to 2 friends of mine here in Peru- kidnapped in a taxi, the man was beaten up and they held them in a house with a gun for 3 hours to get money out of the atm. Luckily they let them go in the end, but it just goes to show that if you’re somewhere you aren’t sure of it’s best to get someone you trust to call you a taxi! Thank-you for sharing, it’s good to be aware of.
Silvia says
Whoa that’s so scary! I can’t imagine going through that, much less while traveling alone! It makes me thankful my “scary” experience was just an uncomfortable car ride.
John Mayson says
Penang is one of my favorite destinations in the world. However I’m a 6′ 6″ man. Many of my female coworkers also travel there and have said they feel generally safe. But anything can happen anywhere at any time. I hope you give Penang a second chance, I really believe your experience was atypical.
Silvia says
I did enjoy Penang aside from this one bad experience! I had thought that my experience was atypical, but now reading the comments it seems like a few other women have had problems in Penang. It’s a shame, but if travelers are careful it’s no reason not to visit.
Colleen Brynn says
Eep! I don’t like this.. I often get asked why I’m traveling alone and where my boyfriend is, why he lets me travel alone. It’s unsettling to be asked these things. Also my boyfriend is just supportive, ok, so there is no reason he “lets” me travel. These cultural divides cause some pretty uncomfortable situations. I have a super sensitive danger radar but still take calculated risks while I travel. My radar has saved me from some pretty bad situations. A guy in Qatar posing as a cab driver tried to lure me into his car but I refused and dashed away. Left me with a gross creepy feeling but I lived to tell the tale.
Silvia says
Oh wow, good job getting away from the fake cab driver! I never, ever trust cab drivers, and now I know not to trust minivan drivers either!
Victoria@ The British Berliner says
OMG! So glad everything worked it well and you were cool and calm.
Unsurprisingly, it’s not unusual especially in countries where emotional and sexual feelings are surpressed and hampered. Some of these men just assume that Western girls are immune, used to it, or worse, like it!
I love Indonesia, but when I first went in (ahem) 1999, I was constantly hassled and followed. It got to the point where my own waiter, of the fancy restaurant I was in tried it on whilst I was eating!! In the end, I ended up asking random European guys to be my “husband.”
In India, it was even worse. Especially as I was travelling solo. I had a great time but I couldn’t wait to leave.
Now that I actually have a husband and child. The men are enormously respectful!
Lavi says
Oh my gosh! What a scary experience. As an Indian-American female, I can totally relate to what Shilpa said about some Indian men having ideas in their heads, it’s really unfortunate. I’ve had a few similar shady cab rides in Asia in which the drivers were never too shy to ask about whether I had a boyfriend or even more intimate questions than that! I’m glad you’re safe, and I’m really glad you’re putting this out there so other solo female travelers can be aware! xx
Silvia says
Ugh, I hate creepy cab drivers 🙁 Good to hear that you’re being safe about it though!
Anna says
Situtations like this are so terrifying. I had a few sketchy moments when I was traveling by myself in Morocco but luckily on the street where I could easily escape and not in a taxi. Glad you shared this creep’s photo.. If I’m ever in Penang and see him I’ll definitely RUN in the opposite direction!
Silvia says
Definitely run away from him! Ha. Or punch him in the face, that would be good to. Ugh, I so hate dealing with creepy guys, especially when traveling through new places!
becky hutner says
Oi. That is scary & I don’t think you were overreacting at all. Sadly, this kind of thing can happen anywhere. Reminds me of the time I was sixteen and took a Sat morning cab to my driver’s ed class. Instead of taking me straight there, the driver pulled into a deserted parking lot, put a hand on my thigh and asked if I wanted to take lessons with him instead! (I said no, obvs). This was in my home of Canada!! You just never know 🙁
Silvia says
Ughh seriously, what kind of guy creeps on a 16-year-old girl?! So gross. You’re right though, this sort of stuff happens at home too, even if we feel safer in a familiar place. Such a shame!
Renate @ Renate's Travels says
Omg, that is so creepy! I’m so glad you were able to get out of there! I love the fact that you have his photo, at least then everyone can stay away from him. 😛
It’s sad when these kinds of situastions occur while travelling. Like when I was in Nepal I was in the bathroom of some restaurant and suddenly I see a shadow above me and there is some local guy peeping over the wall from the toilet on the other side!! I yelled at him, but he jumped back down and hid in the bathroom for a long time. Luckily I had some friends there and one of them was indian and we got him out of there and when he finally got out they threw him out of the restaurant.. In that situation I wasn’t in any danger, but it’s so degrading.
Silvia says
Ew, creepy! I’m glad you could get him out of there. My friend was once taking a shower at our hotel in Uzbekistan and she looked up to see the manager peeking in the window, ugh. Seriously, men sometimes!
Vanessa @ The Travelling Colognian says
What a terrifying experience! I am so glad that you got out of the situation safely, Silvia. I didn’t feel that safe in Penang either. It is such a shame that females sometimes have to go through situations like this, and as someone else already mentioned above, it really could happen all over the world.
I got harassed by a young taxi driver, probably not older than 20, in Hanoi right when I wanted to pay. I paid for the ride then, got out of the car and started to scream at him. I felt safer to do so from outside of the car.
I also got robbed out in Hanoi only a few days later, but that’s a different story. However, these experiences won’t keep me away from going back to Vietnam, but due to my robbery experience, I will take a few more precautions than in other countries.
Silvia says
Oh ugh, what awful experiences! My friend’s purse was stolen in Vietnam when we were crossing the street. A bunch of motorbikes came at us and grabbed us – it was so scary! At least these sorts of things are more unusual experiences when traveling, not the norm!
Martina Donkers says
Hey Silvia
Wow, what a nasty experience! So glad you were able to keep a cool head and that it didn’t get any worse.
A few years ago, I flew into Phuket on my very first solo backpacking trip. I’d tried to time my flights so that I would arrive mid-afternoon, but there was a storm that delayed the flights and I got in well after dark. I managed to navigate the touts at the airport and got into a cab and told my driver to take me to Roam Place Hotel. “Where?” Roam Place. I showed him where I’d written it down in my notebook. “Ok,” he said, and started driving.
It was one of those newer cars where all the doors lock automatically when you reach a certain speed. My heart skipped a beat. It was raining, and dark, and I had no idea where I was, and then my driver goes, “We just have to stop at the office.” Wait, what? Why? “It won’t take long.” No, just take me to my hotel! “No, we have to go to the office first.” I don’t want to! I was starting to get really scared. It didn’t help that the old couple sitting next to me on the flight, upon hearing I was on my first solo backpacking trip, told me all the stories of their daughter’s friends who got into trouble in Thailand, including one guy who, according to them, actually had his organs stolen in Bangkok. My driver also started to seem really nervous. I was insisting we go straight to the hotel, the Roam Place! Nervously, he told me, “I don’t know where that is. We have to go and check with the office.” According to my map, it was right in the middle of Phuket, how could he not know?
After another 10 minutes we finally pulled into the office and the driver got out. “Wait here.” A woman came out of the office and he chatted to her briefly, then she came over, and favoured me with a big Thai smile. “Roam Place, right?” she said. I nodded. The driver got back in the car, and off we went.
10 minutes later, we pulled up in front of the hotel – Rome Place. As in R.O.M.E. not R.O.A.M which I had written down. It had all been a totally genuine misunderstanding – he didn’t know where my hotel was because I had the wrong thing written down, and was nervous about admitting it, and genuinely had to go to the office to check. All that panic for nothing!! Nevertheless, the moment I checked in I locked my door and refused to leave until the next morning. I made it this far, that’s enough for the day, I thought!
Sometimes the scary taxi stories DO turn out ok. 🙂 But it’s also so much better to be safe than sorry.
Martina 🙂
Silvia says
Oh wow, that would have had me freaked as well! It’s crazy that it was all a misunderstanding (and lucky). I kept trying to think of a way my situation could have been a misunderstanding, like the driver thought I was on a different bus but then realized his mistake too late, but then that wouldn’t account for his weird flirting. Some guys just are creeps!
Martina Donkers says
Yeah, it was amplified by the fact that it was my very first stop on my very first solo adventure, so I was feeling a bit on edge to start with. But there was no creepy flirting or anything at least. From what you said though, I don’t think there’s a nice way to interpret what happened to you – the guy was clearly a creep!! I think you could possibly explain it away if it wasn’t for the “Your driver said that you were staying in Penang” part at the very end. Why else would he say that?? Lucky he seemed to get disheartened when you stopped being polite. It makes me so angry that so many men interpret politeness as attraction! Here in Fiji, I often say to cab drivers things like, “How’s your day going?” and far too often it turns into him saying “So, do you like to go clubbing?” Um, no. No I don’t. And yes I am married. Also my husband is waiting for me at home. He’s a rugby player. Big Fijian guy. Yep. You don’t wanna mess with him. Also this one is my house, not the one further up, nooo…. Sigh.
Silvia says
It is so annoying when men misinterpret casual friendliness as flirting. A lesson I’m still learning – I need to stop my American ways! Also, I’ve totally played the rugby-playing husband card, haha.
Chalsie says
Wow, I’m really glad that didn’t end badly! What a strange experience. Stranger because you don’t really know his full intentions. But again, I’m glad it worked out! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Silvia says
I do wish I could find out what he was really doing, but I guess it will always be a bit of a mystery!
Arianne says
I’m pretty sure most female (and some male) travelers have had similar experiences – and sometimes there’s definitely a fine line between danger and locals just being over-hospitable (and kidnapping you for a seven-hour-dinner). While living in China I once visited an Yi village outside of a town in Sichuan where I was staying for a week during winter holiday, and a local boy who was about 17 or 18 tried to convince me to stay and be his wife. I felt really rude (especially after a cow was killed, and about 50 relatives showed up for the supposed ceremony), but found some locals who worked in the city and spoke Chinese, and stood my ground. I think the most important thing in situations like this (when you can’t just sneak away) is to be firm and find allies.
Silvia says
Haha wow, that’s definitely a more intense story than mine! I mean, at least you know you have marriage options! But you’re so right – everyone has these uncomfortable experiences and a lot of it can just be due to cultural misunderstandings.
Ken says
Super creepy! I’m glad you got away from him safely! It’s sometimes hard to go with your gut feeling because you want to trust people, unfortunately some have different motives for wanting to help. I hope the rest of your travels stay safe and enjoyable!
Alex B says
Oh my gosh! This makes me so mad! Men are so disgusting, thinking they can take advantage of women like this. I understand that different countries have different cultures, but I think that some countries really need to progress with the rest of the world. Women are to be respected, no matter what!
I was just in Penang myself, and didn’t have any issues with the men there (even when I was wearing shorts), but I’ve had horrible things happen to me in other Muslim countries (Morocco, to be exact). It can be so difficult to speak up, but I think sometimes you’ve got to just gain the courage to say “this isn’t right, take me to where I am supposed to be, or I’ll call the police” or something along those lines. Glad you made it to the bus station safely though!
Silvia says
Glad to hear you didn’t have any problems in Penang! But sorry you did in Morocco – sometimes, just MEN. Ugh.
Abdullah al mamun says
http://www.bordersofadventure.com/why-i-didnt-love-south-korea-but-why-im-glad-i-gave-it-a-chance/#comment-238352
Me says
And let me guess: you did not report him with the tourist police. Bad.
Prianka | Map Halves says
I definitely agree with you about feeling uneasy in Georgetown (although I felt completely find up the road in Batu Ferringhi) and like people stare at you in you are wearing shorts. You are brave to post this where your parents can see this – I hope they weren’t too put off at the time!
Silvia says
My parents are pretty tough, though my mom actually managed to refrain from reading it! (thankfully)
Ellen says
I wanted to check on Google if it safe for ladies to go Penang solo until I came across your blog. I really love to travel alone and I have been to some parts of Asia. Now, I am a bit hesitant to push my plan. Thanks for having a blog like this! It’s really informative .
Silvia says
Just be careful, and dress conservatively!
Dee May says
What?! That’s awful! I’m so sorry you had to go through such an experience, Silvia — especially in Penang — the cultural and food hub of Malaysia in my POV. As a Malaysian born and bred in KL, currently living in London, I’ve always thought Penang was the kinder and more chilled out side of the country (in terms of politics as well in comparison to KL). So angry to learn that this happened to you in Malaysia.
Ellen, I hope you haven’t been deterred from Penang — there are loads of hidden gems around the island — especially within Georgetown (Google: Hin Depot [art space], Chinahouse, and Obscura Photography Festival, Georgetown Festival) — I wouldn’t bother with Batu Ferringhi as there are better beaches in other parts of Malaysia. There are plenty of expats on the island and international schools in Penang. It’s far from a ‘remote’ city and the people are definitely used to tourists.
I travel solo around Asia + Europe a fair bit and never thought of Penang as unsafe — besides the usual precaution as with other Asian countries to ignore overly friendly men and don’t walk alone in dark alleys. Even the “Hi” and “Where you from?” etc — just ignore them, put on the resting bitch face, and walk on (happens a lot in KL too). Feel free to message me further if you have questions about Malaysia / any other travel tips that I can offer as a local.
Safe travels, Silvia and Ellen! x
Shiqin Shukor says
Im so nervous. Im 20, Malaysian, will have my first solo backpacking to Penang. Reading this makes me sick of some Malaysian men. Ive witnessed with my eyes that sometimes our locals like to stare blondies with some weird smile. I’m mad about it but there’s nothing I can do 🙁 Im sorry on behalf of us, and please come again! Not to forget, wish me luck for my first solo backpacking trip 😀
Silvia says
It’s the sort of thing that could happen anywhere really. I hope you have an amazing trip!
Yadi says
Hello from Taiwan, Silvia. I stumbled upon your post about your time in Japan, and then somehow it lead me to this one.
First of all, thank you for sharing your experiences. I think they all carry important messages, for inexperienced future travelers especially. I myself have not traveled nearly as much as most backpackers have, but I can most certainly relate to a lot of the issues you have raised in your articles. Alienation, harassment (especially racist one), etc.
Although I am a straight man–and therefore safe from most forms of sexual harassment–I can’t help but wonder why, in this article, you said that the second place where you had the most trouble from men was Japan. I am quite astonished to see that comment, since my perception of Japanese men is that they are relatively reserved (social norm dictates it so, maybe)? Could you share a bit more about this subject? If you feel comfortable, that is.
All the best,
Yadi
Louisa says
Hi. Thanks for posting this. I have been multiple times to Georgetown as a solo female traveller and always seem to have issues of harassment from the local Indian male population. In several occasions I have been followed home by taxi drivers and taxi bike drivers shouting disgusting things (even as early at 9pm). One time, I was grabbed from behind and a man attempted to assault me but I managed to get away in time. I have learnt not to walk home alone after dark. I’m glad you are safe! Best of luck for the rest of your travels
Christina says
But I think Penang is really amazing and safe city.