About a year and a half ago I wrote a blog post about that dreaded “bitter expat syndrome” and how I planned on doing everything I could to avoid feeling those same bitter expat feelings towards Norway that I had once felt towards Germany, and then Japan, and then Thailand. That was about two months after I had moved to Norway.
And now, nearly two years after my move to Norway?
Ughhh I HATE NORWAY SO MUCH!
Okay, maybe the shouty caps are a bit of an exaggeration. Except sometimes they really, really are not. Sometimes, and in fact a lot of times during the past few months, I just feel so frustrated with Norway and so ready to leave.
Now, before I get further into my rant (yeah, I fear it’s going to be one of those posts) I should say that a big reason why I’m writing this is that I’m actually feeling a lot less bitter and much more positive towards Norway these days. The past few months feel like they were some sort of test and I’m more and more confident now that my love for this country has withstood the trial, woohoo!
So this is meant less as ugh let me complain about Norway and more as ugh why does moving abroad have to be so hard, just so you know. Because I do realize that I am absurdly lucky to be living in Norway!
Though sometimes that’s part of the problem.
My relationship with Norway started hitting some bumps right around when I began blogging full time. I was no longer reaping one of the biggest benefits of living in Norway – lots of money for little work – but even more significantly, I suddenly no longer needed to be in Norway. I mean, I hadn’t planned on working at a Norwegian supermarket forever, but I had planned on working somewhere where I would need fluent Norwegian. But now that I could be anywhere I started questioning if here was where I really wanted to be.
I mean first off, Norway is really expensive. Imagine how much more comfortably I could live in another country! And then there’s the whole lack of customer service thing (something I admittedly liked as a worker in Norway – you basically don’t ever have to try).
There was the time I needed to switch my driver’s license to a Norwegian one – 20 phone calls and 3 people hanging up on me because they didn’t know the answer later and now I’ve just given up on driving in Norway. Or when I needed to get a vaccine and the health clinic referred me to a different clinic which referred me back to the first clinic, which referred me back to the second clinic. Or when I read that Norwegians have to apply for a Rwandan visa in person at a Rwandan consulate, and the nearest consulate is in Stockholm, Sweden.
And then there were the times when I felt like Norway didn’t want me here.
Like when a tourism board told me I should never expect to be able to work with any destinations in Norway again because of a blog post I wrote. And then there was the time when I took my car to Seljord for a service and the Toyota people killed it. They kept it for over a month and both Dan and I drove (in our rental car) the hour-long drive to pick it up several times, and each time they kept saying that whoops, they hadn’t had a chance to do anything and could we come next Tuesday instead?
It’s a long story, but basically they were acting so weird and everyone we talked to about it was miffed but also a bit sad and it was really confusing until I realized what was going on and we had a Norwegian friend speak to them and sort it out (I mean, the car is still basically dead with no explanation, but they are only billing us for half the work).
It was the first time I had to deal with people not wanting to deal with me as a foreigner, so I mostly just felt really guilty for being upset by it. Because usually when someone is rude to me, as soon as they realize I’m not Eastern European they become super friendly and so curious why I would choose to move here from the US and it sort of makes me want to slap them in the face. Or slap myself in the face?
Lol I could go on. I mean, I think everyone could go on about things that frustrate them about their home country, right? Because hello, life is not perfect and just because it can be easy to blame the imperfect bits on wherever I’m living doesn’t mean that somewhere else wouldn’t be frustrating in whole new ways.
It’s a dilemma that anyone who’s struggled with commitment, whether that be committing to a home, a person, a career, or anything else that feels really important in life, will recognize.
You know you really need to make a choice – I don’t want to continue moving from country to country all my life – but you also really don’t want to get it wrong. Norway is the country where I’ve been the happiest living, which is really encouraging, except that the knowledge that I’m happier here than other places then makes me wonder if I couldn’t be even happier somewhere else.
Basically I’m the girl sitting at the base of the fig tree knowing she has to choose one fig but paralyzed by the knowledge that choosing one means losing all the rest. And so instead she watches them all shrivel up and fall to the ground.
If you’re like me and can’t hear a mention of The Bell Jar without feeling a horrible pit of anxiety and gloom in your stomach then I’m really sorry – it was my friend Ann who brought up the fig tree when I was talking about this with her (actually we were talking about relationships, but same same). Or maybe you’re like me and somehow still haven’t gotten round to eating lunch today, in which case a slice of bread will probably fill up that pit of gloom just fine.
What I’m saying is, I know I’m in an incredibly privileged position to even be wondering where I had better set down my roots. But I’m also worried that I’m going to let that privilege lure me away from the life I do know I want, and I do know that I want a home.
It’s funny, one of my biggest criticisms of Norwegians is that they are so lazy. Whenever I travel through places where people have less than people in Norway (so basically every other country in the world) I find myself feeling so frustrated with Norwegians. Like, they have so much, what are they even doing with it all?
But maybe I’m so critical because, um, I’m Norwegian too? And what am I doing?
It can be tempting to blame our misgivings about the people we are on other aspects of our lives. Am I happy enough? Maybe I’ll be happier in a different country. Is this the life that I want? Maybe it would be better with a different partner. Is my life fulfilling? Maybe I should look at a different career.
They’re all good questions to ask, except when I start asking them so much that I don’t give myself the chance to become anyone at all.
Soon I’ll be starting on my third year living in Norway, which will be the longest I’ve lived in any one country as an adult.
And guys? I’m so glad that I didn’t let my doubts and frustrations convince me to leave Norway. I feel so much happier here than I did just a few months ago, and thankful that I was able to muster the patience to let my rocky feelings towards Norway settle down again.
I can’t really explain what changed to make me feel so much better about my decision to live in Norway, but I think a big part of it was just accepting that this is my home, and worrying less about any negative ways that choice could affect my future.
I’ve promised myself to try to focus more on the things I do and the person I am than the place I’m living. I can’t say I’ll be able to commit to living in Norway forever anytime soon, or maybe ever, but I am trying to think about that choice a whole lot less. I want to think less about the things that frustrate me about life here, and the ways in which Norway holds me back, and more about the opportunities life here affords me.
I don’t want to worry about what might keep me from the life I want, but instead I want to focus on what I can do to achieve that life.
Next up, When You Begin to Hate the Job You Love.
Just kidding.
I think.
Rachel says
I would love to visit Norway (I am also Norwegian). I really want to do the full Pilgrim Trail – have you been?
-Rachel @ Backcountry Petite
Silvia says
I haven’t, but I know someone who did and it sounded like quite an amazing journey!
Meggen says
Stumbled upon this post in 2021 (during lockdown in Canada). After living in Norway for 7 years, what you have described in this post are still the norm in Norway. Null/zero/negative customer service in Norway, got bounced back and forth when calling or reaching for assistance of any sort. Dont get me started with the medical system there. True, people are generally nice, just dont actually care much about others. Also true that the nature is spectacular and work-life balance is wonderful. However, its a struggle to overlook what is missing there.
Alli says
I totally understand that ‘could I be happier doing something else?’ dilemma. Also the constant stream of questions and feeling frustrated with it all. My husband and I left our old lives behind and are traveling the Caribbean on our 31ft sailboat. We’ve been to a ton of amazing places and experienced things I’d dream about working my 9-5 back in the States. Now that we’re really in the thick of it I often wonder the same things you do. I guess it’s that ‘grass is always greener’ mentality we have. For some reason we’re never satisfied long term, only on those short term moments. When I’m feeling down or frustrated with what we’re doing (which sounds crazy, but I know you understand) I just think about how I wanted to do this so bad a year ago and how we accomplished getting as far as we have. It makes me feel better. Seems silly to have such a struggle when you’ve made such a positive change for yourself, but it’s real!
Silvia says
Oh wow, that’s so interesting! But I think that does make a lot of sense in a way – the impulse to question things and choose the best life possible for yourself instead of the easiest or most convenient isn’t suddenly going to disappear now that you’ve left the 9-5. And in a way that’s a good thing, but in a way you also need to know when to stop with the questioning – or at least that’s how I feel. I don’t want the same drive for a better life that brought me away from the US and here to Norway to then keep me from enjoying my time in Norway.
Milou says
You and I are literally the same person. Except you know how to stay upright on cross country skis, so basically – you win.
I think in my case I’m just so acutely aware of how short life is, and how amazing my life and all the possibilities in it are, that it becomes paralysing to make any sort of choice in fear of making the wrong one and RUINING YOUR LIFE FOREVER. Anxiety is like a stalker that just won’t give up.
On a more practical note: it might be an option to be based out of Norway half of the time, and somewhere else half of the time? Best of both worlds – exactly how us millennials like it.
Silvia says
Yeah I guess in a way that’s what I’m doing now by spending two weeks in Norway, and two weeks traveling each month. Though then sometimes I wonder if that’s keeping me from feeling as settled here in Norway? Not that that would really make me slow down with the travel, let’s be real, haha. So true about the anxiety though – like, please just give up?!
Joe says
Well, one thing for sure is that being totally honest about such things can be difficult. But it makes for wonderful writing because it reminds the rest of us of how important it is to live in the truth, something we are often not prepared to do. But as hard as it can be, I think most of us realize somewhere deep down that living in truth is more important than living in Norway or anywhere else. If you ask me, you have a gift for making just that clear to yourself and to others. The truth may sometimes be a harsh place to call home, but, as your blog always shows us, it is filled with so much beauty that, regardless of the bumps in the road, it is realistic to remain hopeful about good things still to come. All of the little people out there who perceive foreigners as a threat are just afraid of the unknown, afraid of opening themselves to a truth that is greater than all of us put together. Keep doing your work. Every blog you write is an admonishment not to be afraid. Maybe someday we will all suddenly get it and realize that truth is the best home of all. If that ever happens, you can take pride in being one of the bold explorers who helped get us to where we all want to go.
Silvia says
Well in that case then maybe I should book that trip to Pakistan! I’ve been dreaming of going…
Nynke says
Go you! As long as you take care of the things that really matter to you (like, for instance, love and rewarding gainful (self-)employment), I think it makes total sense to focus on making the best of what you have. I add that caveat because I once went overboard in the other direction (my ex broke up with me about 7 years after I could/should have known he wasn’t as into me as I was into him). But if you suspect that your antsy feelings just derive from your general antsiness rather than from something being fundamentally wrong for you, it does look like practicing Zen and the Art of not Migrating might be the way forward :).
PS the the
Silvia says
Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to know where those antsy feelings come from, especially as my attitude towards them changes depending on whether I’m in a good or bad mood. “Zen and the Art of not Migrating” made me laugh out loud – that’s what I’ll be practicing for the time being, at any rate!
Nynke says
Heh 🙂
Arielle says
Wait, a tourism board told you that you’d never work in Norway again because you wrote a post about how the government wants to reduce tourists in Norway? Even though like every other one of your posts is about how great Norway is? WTF???
Anyway I feel the same way about putting down roots. I haven’t lived more than 2 years in the same place since I graduated from college and I sort of wonder if I’m making the right choices by moving all the time… I still haven’t figured it out yet!
Silvia says
Yeah it was crazy because the woman writing to me genuinely seemed to think I was going to take the post down. And I was like, 1. I don’t work for you, and 2. I’ve never even worked with you before?? So bizarre. I mean, maybe she was just trying to be helpful.
And it’s nice to hear I’m not the only person moving every couple of years, haha. Hopefully one day we’ll figure it out (or we won’t, but it won’t matter?).
Tosh says
Awww this post gives me fixed feels!! I’m confident you’ll figure it all out and be happier than ever!!If not in Norway, then come to Canada and we can then travel to Albania, k? lol :):) *hugs* Hope you feel better after writing this and honestly, sometimes there are just days, weeks and even months where I’m like WTF am I doing at my shit job, blah blah blah…then I realize my job isn’t actually that bad and when people are getting laid off all over my industry, I kinda become humbled that I actually HAVE work. You’ll do just fine. I know it!! :):) xoxox
Silvia says
Haha yess let’s just go to Albania! Lol no but like I said, this is how I felt earlier in the year, not now, so actually I do think things are working out quite well in Norway. It can just be so confusing during the times that I’m feeling frustrated! Uggh life
Cynthia says
Really enjoyed this post – so many points really hit home for me living abroad as well! Sometimes it’s oddly comforting to know that there’s other people struggling with similar things as you… that we’re not alone 🙂
Silvia says
It seriously is – I think I largely wrote this secretly hoping people would say they’ve felt the same way, haha.
Julie says
Here’s a motto I use for many things in life. “If you don’t know, you know.” When it comes to relationships, where to live, what to do… if your answer is “I don’t know,” then it’s really “no.” For example, Do I want to marry this guy? “I don’t know” well, that’s your answer. It means no. It’s true that “when you know, you know.” And I think it applies to simple things like where you should eat dinner, what job you should have, and where you should live long-term. Not sure if this commentis helpful but I hope it is! I wish I had learned it sooner.
Silvia says
Hm I think that’s a hard one though. Like, if you asked me if I wanted to marry my boyfriend now I’d say no, but does that mean that we should break up? Or that we’re just not ready? Having written this after going through the frustrations with Norway and coming out the other end happy again, I’m SO, so glad I didn’t leave Norway when I was feeling like I wanted to. But then, if in the future I have these feelings again maybe my uncertainty will mean that I should leave. Aah life can be so confusing!
Stacey says
Okay, 1) this blog is awesome, and I love to read it. Yay, you! 🙂
2) I’m an American living in America, but I’m also going through what you’re going through. And I’ve gone through it before, as well. (Is this the city/state I should settle in? For good? Should I try to move into a better paying/more satisfying job? Am I living my life to the fullest, or is there some magical way I could do/be more?) I think that we go through this at various times, no matter where we are or how old we are.
3) While it can seem like X people/institution/whatever is keeping us from doing what we need to do, sometimes things are just life. Let’s face it: in America, there’s a lot of bureaucracy. (How many phone calls do I need to do to get something done?!) But, at least since I’m American, I’m used to our wacky ways! Something that’s fairly easy here, like getting a vaccine, I can imagine is super-frustrating when you get stuck going in circles in Norway. But apparently, that’s a Norway-bureaucracy-thing!
My point is that you’re not weird, or ungrateful, or flippant, or unable to settle in one place. Everything that’s coming up for you is totally normal. You are, alas, the only person who can answer what’s right for you. Don’t worry. I (and many others, I think!) will keep reading as you find your way, wherever that is. 🙂
Silvia says
You’re so right! Whenever I get frustrated with Norwegian bureaucracy I think back to what it was like getting stuff done in Japan and the US and I’m like, oh right, it’s kind of like this everywhere.
Kelsey says
I love love love the way that you take all the thoughts swarming around in my head and articulate them in a way that sounds tangible! Hahaha that is a really obnoxious sentence but I just really wanted to use the words “articulate” and “tangible”. But really. This is 100% something I’ve been dealing with as of late and probably something I’ll be dealing with my whole life?? #commitmentissues… It’s that stupid “grass is always greener” syndrome and I try to tell myself that my grass will grow where I water it…But then I end up running around and watering everything quickly to keep my options open. Le sigh. Anyways, thank you so much for this post and for always being so transparent and entertaining. 🙂 Also had no idea about all those funny nuances in Norway and it’s very interesting to hear it from an expats’ point of view. And to hear the ‘real’ side of things as it’s so easy to romanticize everything and think it’s all perfect etc. Especially these days with social media, but that’s a whole other topic!
Silvia says
Aah that seriously makes me feel so much better! And now I’m feeling so much better about staying in Norway and really glad that I didn’t leave when I was frustrated, which was a big reason I wanted to write this post – in case anyone went through anything similar.
Emily says
I feel like I’ve sat at the base of that fig tree too many times in life. I dread returning to it, but I guess that’s life, right? I don’t think it’s bad for you to complain about these things at all, because anybody anywhere on earth goes through the same things at some point. I hope you find some direction soon.
Silvia says
It’s true, I guess in a way it’s a good thing that we keep returning to the fig tree.
Vanessa Brune says
Okay so
1.) That comment from the tourism board is ridiculous. I don’t know anyone who seems so fond of Norway than you!
2.) No offense but it feels good to read someone else complain about the downsides of life in Norway (not that these are really bad ones to be fair) cause I sometimes feel so lonely doing that with everyone else raving about the country 😀 Your struggle with bureaucracy totally reminds me of my first year in Norway though but it has gotten easier with time. Not sure if that’s just because I speak Norwegian now or because I’ve gotten so used to it…
3.) I am the same when it comes to commitment and I have no idea whether or not I really want to live in Norway forever. I do know that Tromso is not for me so that’s a start and we’ll move really soon but I’m so afraid that I might not enjoy life in the south either… which is ridiculous when you think about it. I mean, anywhere that has daylight and the potential of sunshine in winter should be fine, right?!
Silvia says
Yeah I was really sad to get that email from the tourism board – I just told myself that maybe they were just trying to be helpful because they thought it would cause problems with other tourism boards. And yeah, the struggle with bureaucracy is nowhere near how intense it was in my first year in Norway, but now I think in a way it can annoy me more because I do know the system better and speak the language, whereas before I could blame it all on my being new here. And I’m excited to hear about your move! Love that your standards are daylight and some sunshine, haha.
Naomi Schettini says
Being an adult can really suck because experiencing the confusing narrative you just described is inevitable. Unless you are a mentally lazy or fearful person, experiencing a lot of different types of change and perspectives to make up who you are and what is your identity will leave one very, very perplexed for a while. I lived long-term in 5 cities on 3 continents in the past 7 years but I am still looking for my home. I’m going to try my 4th continent next year hahah.
Astrologists have said by the age of 29, a different planet starts ruling over peoples’ lives and their perspectives start to narrow and solidify who they are. Are you around that age? Do you feel that sort of happening to you?
I wholeheartedly commend you for inspiring others to do the same. Experiment, move away, be detached, within comfort and reason of course, — it’s what humans need to evolve.
Silvia says
Wow, your 4th continent! And I actually turned 29 three weeks ago, so that’s super interesting!
I guess I had better wish us both good luck then, ha.
Tante Hege says
This sounds like the famous fork in the road, Silvia! Reading your blog, and enjoying it immensely, I would say that writing is your vehicle, and Norway may have been your scenic byway for a long while now. We all know eating chocolate every day gets old (fine, it never gets old, but you know what I mean). The scenic byway will always be there for you, or maybe you just need to stop feeling guilty for “eating chocolate every day”…? Whatever you decide, we hope to be along for the ride through your writing. All the best! xxx ooo.
Now to the other thing that caught my eye in today’s blog:
“Norwegians are lazy!” Ok, define lazy. True, they don’t work very many hours (compared to many other countries). They have all kinds of sick leave, vacations, and holidays etc. etc. that are unique to them. But when they have worked the minuscule hour on Friday, or any other day of the week, what do they do?
Well, I haven’t been in Norway for over a year, but the people I know may hurry their day jobs, but they are very proud of the way they spend their fritid (free time, as they call it). They scurry to their cabins, or the mountains, or the nearby forest. They hike, sail, ski, fish, climb, cycle etc.., or they will redecorate every little space they have over and over, or cater to whatever other hobbies they might have. It’s in their spare time, time apart from their paid work, where they really live. And I have always thought that that is how Norwegians, in their collective national psyche, define themselves.
I am sorry that they stall you around every corner. It’s funny, because unhelpful bureaucrats, terrible customer service, and rudeness towards foreigners, that is what we always used to say about the French. And that maybe the one thing the Norwegians should not have picked up from the French 🙂
Silvia says
Haha you’re right! Norwegians are way less lazy than most people when it comes to life outside of work. I guess it’s just the American in me (and perhaps also those years in Japan and Thailand) that is always so shocked by how little most Norwegians seem to care about their work. Which is actually really unfair of me, because really I do agree with them that life outside of work is much more important. But as I said in the post, these frustrations are things I felt towards Norway before, but now they don’t bother me so much. In fact most of it is just endearing now, haha. And I will NEVER get tired of the chocolate!
Mary B says
The conclusion you came to – focusing on what you can do to achieve the life you want where you are – is one I’ve been thinking about a lot lately too! I’m pretty sure I’m not in my forever home, but I’m here for now and comparing it to other places isn’t going to make it any better. I realized that while I can’t change the external environment, there’s still a lot within my control that can influence my happiness – making my home more inviting, exploring more outside the city, spending more time with friends. It’s made a huge difference in my happiness level in just a few months! (okay – summer weather might also be helping.) I hope that it does the same for you!
Silvia says
Aah I feel better that someone else is going through the same thing! And yeah, those were basically my thoughts too – if I’m constantly focusing on the external environment I might actually not be giving myself a good enough chance to do the things I want to.
David B. says
Just by coincidence, I came across a post by James Altucher entitled “Are You a Wanderer?” and thought of your plight, which I read about via Oui in France on Facebook. James often has useful and unusual advice. His thoughts may appeal to you. You may want to check out jamesaltucher.com .
Silvia says
I just spent ages reading James Altucher and about James Altucher. Super interesting, thanks for the tip!
Backpacking Grandma says
Aha, Norway! What a wonderful experience you must be having! I can understand your doubts and frustrations, but just remember to “bloom where you are planted”. Sounds like you are in a very special place. Take time to really soak up this wonderful country.
Stephanie says
I love love LOVE reading someone complain about the country that they’re living in (does that sound horrible and bitchy and privileged? I’m sorry but it’s true). I’ve read your post 5 times now, and it seriously feels as comforting as a hug.
I really enjoy how you seem so honest and authentic in your posts – with both good and bad. I don’t want to read nonstop sunshine, rainbows, puppies “every place I visit is so wonderful and amazing” bloggers. I wish more people shared more openly about struggles, doubts, problems with living and traveling abroad.
But I get that it’s scary.
As an American living in a foreign country, I never get anything but hate when I (gently, tentatively) point out anything I don’t like. The general consensus feels like because I’m a visitor (I’m choosing to live here, no one is forcing me), not a native, I’m not allowed to have a negative opinion. But holy Jose, I can’t help it.
Like – Mariachi music is fun, when you’re drinking tequila and it’s a Saturday. It’s less fun when it’s a Monday and you’re not feeling great and had a LONG ass day and just want to sleep but get woken up at 1am to a full band outside your front door playing all. night. long. because your neighbor took Tuesday off of work and wants to party (I’m a bit bitter because this was my life, last night).
Living in a place and visiting provide such different experiences… and it’s hard to know what’s the right place (is there such a thing?), or even the best place.
Anyways, sending hugs and thank you so much for your authenticity. When I’m feeling frustrated by expat life I always know who to read 🙂
Joella says
This keeps popping up in various places for me to read and I swear I read and commented on it already (because I loved it!). But did I just write the comment then not actually post it?? Haha oh god #mumbrain. Well, I’ll keep it short now and just say I can’t totally relate to this. Loved this post.
Joella says
I mean I *can* totally relate to this!! What is wrong with me??? I had a “lie in” to 7.30 as well today haha!! 😂😂😂😂
Silvia says
hahaha this made me literally laugh out loud. So glad you enjoyed the post 🙂
Edu says
Such an interesting article to read
Dag says
I might be a bit rude now but reading this article I really see it coming from an American. It was a lot of me, I and myself.
Your life in Norway might not be perfect, like the rest of us. But the possibility to live a happy life here is so much better than maybe any place in this universe. You have travelled a lot, more than most of us would do i a thousand years. And I am sure that you would not trade life with most of the people you have seen and met on your journeys.
Clear air, good fish, awesome mountains, long maternity leaves and safety can not give you happiness in them selves. But is sure as hell a very good foundation to create it on your own.
I think most people can only be happy and have good lives if we have a net of people around us we can share our lives with. Share happiness, everyday life and work, and the sadder parts of life as well.
You are partly from America. See from your norwegian perspective what is going on over there. It is just plain crazy !! There is a President working to make the filthy rich richer denying poor people needed health care. Millions of children suffering from poverty and live in unsafe homes and neighbourhoods. Now that is what I would call depressing.
Denying that the planet is about to get into a very dangerous situation due to climate changes, overpopulation and differences in living standards.
Being born and raised in this country feels like winning the big jackpot in the lottery. I know I am so privileged to be able to live and raise my own children in this safe and beautiful haven.
But we both know Norway is not perfect by any means. I would say the nature is very close, but a country is as good as the people living in it. So we all have to work for each other every day, trying to make each other happy.
I wrote as a comment in one of your other articles that if camping in nature please leave the place as nice or better than you found it. The same goes for the life long camping we do in this country and the beautiful planet we all share. But we are doing a terrible job at the moment.
Hope you are not offended by this little talk. It is done with the best of intentions. I really enjoy reading all your articles, they make me feel proud of being norwegian and living here. And your ability to share all your experiences in such a great way is all credit to your eager to explore and great talent to communicate this to us. Thank you very much.
And the next time life does not smile at you think of all the people you create dreams for as they plan their trip based on your words.
Silvia says
Haha I do have to disagree that worrying over my life choices is purely an American trait, as it’s these very questions that my Norwegian friends here seem to spend most of their time discussing. I think it’s more of an age thing – I don’t have a family or even necessarily career yet, so it’s natural and I think even very important to be carefully considering where I lay down my foundations.
I do agree that we have won the lottery in coming from Norway. Which is why, as I said in this blog post, I have no intention of leaving Norway. Because, again as I said in the blog post (sorry if I’m repeating myself!), even if Norway can frustrate me at times, I do love living here and calling this place my home.
Renate says
Dag you are part of the reason why MANY expats can’t stand Norwegians and Norway – because you’re not humble and you’re closeminded living in your bubble of Janteloven while you compare your glorious selves and country to others. The truth is, Norway is a shell of a country while its people secretly hate foreigners and non-Norwegian speakers yet make their wealth from investments of their new oil money from English speaking countries and English speaking tourists. The air is not fresh while Norwegians breathe out stinky judgmental attitudes every day. The fish is mostly farmed and the food expensive, wrapped in loads of plastic and coming from other countries mostly and Norway has American hotdogs and Tacos as their regular meals. The worst part is that the medical system is antiquated and something expected in a third world country with a high degree of lack of common sense and courtesy. There is something wrong with the mentality of Norwegians in regards to thinking of others with compassion. They are cold. Dag not everyone has babies so forget maternity leave and childcare. Many non Norwegians leave Norway to have their babies because that is how scary and dysfunctional the system is in Norway. Even Norwegians are scared by the lack of ethics throughout the medical system. Does not leave you with anything to brag about or be proud of really. When Norwegian people finally realise that they need to stop asking people 5 minutes after landing in Norway if they speak Norwegian – and every time they ask someone that while it is obvious the person does not speak Norwegian, or they would be – duh -, and embrace that English is their first language equally (you’re all about equality right?) with norsk they will reduce 90% of their harsh attitude and judgment on English speakers from a country where nearly 1million Norwegians settled once upon a time. When they stop puffing themselves up because they have an oil fund which does not at all help the people today….it’s for future generations…oh sure it is… they might get some respect. Taxes are through the roof and the food is bad. No wonder so many Norwegians flee to Spain, Turkey and France to live. Customer service is non existant. And if you’re an English speaker expect to be passed around over the telephone from one lazy zero caring poorly spoken English Norwegian to another.To sum up…….people can put up with bad service if the people are friendly and nice. Norwegians have alot to learn from Americans and other English speaking nations.
Steven Johnson says
I am privileged to be born an American, and further that by having visited some truly awful places in our world that compels me to be irritated by much of the time, effort and resources that my fellow Americans often squander.
Currently, I live and work in California’s hot and smoggy San Joaquin Valley. I dream of clean air, fresh fish and working up a good sweat hiking through healthy forests. About the only part that will come true is the good sweat.
I am edging towards a new life… a new home… because we get just ONE life, and we don’t know how ling it will be. This life I am in now is toxic to me, spiritually and physically.
Thank you for speaking from the heart… there is far greater value in that than most people realize.
Rae says
This post resonates with me so much. I’m also someone who’s traveled to 70+ countries and find that I’m constantly analyzing and comparing EVERYTHING to the point I can’t make decisions. In fact, I’ve just left an industry and am eager to finally have a home base (because friends you can regularly see and being able to retreat to my own private room are things I need at this point in life). However, I’m on my way to New Zealand for a year to give myself more time to decide where I’ll set up shop when I return to the US. I want to be near family, but I don’t want to live where they live and no place within a few hours of driving appeal to me (or don’t have many job opportunities). So where do I go? After spending 12 years exploring fulltime, I feel selfish for looking elsewhere (and because I know this is a problem of privilege). I would actually l like to live in Canada, but part of me wonders if I have decided that because it’s not something I can really have.
Steven Johnson says
I once picked up a hitchhiker in Mt Shasta City and he traveled with me to Berkeley. He had been living your life… constant travel and exploring. He also was wondering what to do, as he was now 32 years old.
We both agreed that he was probably screwed… once a person gets a continuous taste of wandering, there’s no turning back. It’s one thing to take a year off and travel after college or the military, quite another when you keep doing that for several years. You will always yearn. The taste of the hunt… thrill of the chase… it’s deeply addicting.
Cristina says
“Because usually when someone is rude to me, as soon as they realize I’m not Eastern European they become super friendly and so curious why I would choose to move here from the US “. You are saying that norwegians are rude with eastern-europeans? And friendly to US citizens? That doesn’t sound right to me. I’m curious why you think that.
Silvia says
No, it’s definitely not right – I find it really upsetting. Of course not all Norwegians feel that way, but I have met a lot who can be rude to Eastern Europeans, but not to Americans. I have no idea why.
Jocelyn says
Having lived in Norway for many years, I realized that their “equality” is really to a large extent suppressing critical voices and those who are tall poppies or wish to individuate or grow further. Their social mechanisms to achieve this “mediocrity” slavery are very covert and subtle, yet powerful.This is not true equality but control. Equality is NOT making people become unindividuated copies to have “peace” (see the movie the Giver – reminds me of Norway). Norway is like covert narcissists, very exemplary and angelical on the surface but lots of manipulation and control underneath.
I am so glad I got out of this fake idyllic country!
Naomi Hoff says
Been living in Norway for 13 years now. Dual citizen as well.
Georgia says
Wow what an insightful post! They say most breakups happen 2 1/2 years into a serious relationship – guess it really is the same with committing to a place! I absolutely loved your Bell Jar reference – that metaphors used to bring me incredible joy in high school when I was inspired by unlimited possibilities… but as years went by the figs started to rot, and then I TOTALLY started to empathize with all of us freedom-loving and indecisive souls who just can’t decide on a job or serious partner or where in the world they want to put down roots! It’s the wanderer’s deliema…
But I’m so happy you DID get out of the typical adult life pathway and take major risks to travel the world! I’m happy that you listened to your heart and started putting down roots in a place that called to you. And I hope you continue to listen to your heart as it guides you into the unknown ahead.
Thank you for creating this very inspiring blog! All your posts have greatly kicked up my wanderlust, and many have brought smiles to my face with their humor
Rob says
Ive been here since 2008. I dislike the country and I am moving back to Britain.
There are some good aspects but on the whole my experience has been negative.
The worst aspect is the delusion perpetuated by the media here and believed by quite a lot of people that Norway is an enlightened place and “the state looks after everyone” and somehow Norway is better than other places. None of these things are fundamentally true.
Don’t beat yourself up about not liking it. You’ll never be Norwegian (as will I never be) and that’s as it should be.
honeybun says
I just found your post when i googled “why i hate Norway?” haha! I moved here with my parents so it wasnt much of a choice… I also really feel guilty about disliking Norway, because it has giving me so much. Gave me the life I have now. Its such a love-hate relationship. And I feel people should talk about it and discuss, and come up with some good solutions like you have. I makes you feel less alone in your feelings and is a good outlet sometimes. Would love to visit you in Helgeland. Amazing place!