While I spent most of my time in Armenia in Yerevan, making day trips to various sites from the capital city, I decided to head to the countryside for my last few days in Armenia. As it’s near the border to Georgia, where I was headed next, I decided to go to Dilijan, a small town that locals often call the Switzerland of Armenia.
Some fellow backpackers had warned me that hotels in Dilijan are expensive, especially as I was traveling solo and wouldn’t have someone to split a room with, so when one of the taxi drivers at Dilijan’s station said that I could do a home stay with his family for $10 a night I happily agreed.
As we were driving up a winding mountain road into what looked like denser and denser forests I thought about how these sort of spontaneous home stays usually end up being travel highlights, but they are also the perfect setup for me to be raped and murdered. This time turned out to be a little of both (spoiler: don’t worry, parents, I wasn’t actually raped or murdered).
We arrived at Garik’s home just in time for lunch, which turned into quite a feast as Garik’s wife Karin decided that I was far too skinny and needed some instant fattening up. We were eating off of small tea plates, so as Karin was piling my plate with yet more pieces of meat pâté and smoked fish my hosts’ heads eventually disappeared from view behind the tall pile of food in front of me. I felt like Dagwood digging into one of his late night sandwiches. Ahh, Armenian hospitality!
After lunch Garik returned to his taxi duties, while Karin and I settled in for a relaxing afternoon of Russian television. After a cooking show about the perfect potato soup (it’s all in the butter!), the news came on, showing clips from protests in the Ukraine. Karin shook her head and muttered, “so sad, life is difficult!”
She then told me how much she missed Soviet times, when life in Armenia was much easier and everyone could count on receiving supplies from Russia. She was voicing sentiments that at first had surprised me when coming to Armenia, but by now I had had this conversation with many Armenians.
One of my taxi drivers had told me that Armenians used to have more freedom under the Russians because they didn’t have to work such long hours and had more free time. “Now we work all day and night to support our families and raise our children. But for what? When our children are grown they will just have to move to Russia, because there are no jobs in Armenia.”
It was a conversation I had had with many people in Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan as well, where I was surprised at the extent of nostalgia for the Soviet past.
The next day Garik announced that he was going to take me to, surprise surprise, a nearby monastery! About twenty minutes outside of town, Haghartsin Monastery was built between the 10th and 14th centuries and is seriously picturesque.
All in all my Dilijan experience would have been pretty ideal, had Garik not turned out to be a bit of a creeper. Wandering hands and some uncomfortable compliments served as a warning, but they are also things I’m pretty used to when traveling on my own. Then in the middle of the night I was woken up by the creak of my bedroom door opening and I heard Garik’s voice whispering “Silvia? Silvie! Silvishka! … Silvinka?”
I pretended to be asleep and he eventually gave up and went away, but it made for a very uncomfortable and sort of scary car ride the next morning when Garik took me to the neighboring town’s bus station to get a marshrutka to Georgia (I would have tried to get a different driver, but we had to leave at 7 am AND it was snowing).
In the end nothing bad happened, but it reminded me of several other uncomfortable experiences I’ve had while traveling, both alone and with friends. Danielle and I wrote about one such time in this post about hitchhiking on the Pamir Highway, though after it was over we sort of made light of it, even if at the time we had been pretty scared.
I’m incredibly pro solo female travel (girl power wooo!) so I think I’m guilty of often making light of this ever recurring downside. I mean, sure I could get into similarly dangerous situations in my hometown, but the truth is that I am more vulnerable while traveling alone in a foreign country, especially when it means that I’m always having to get into cars with strange men. I just try my best to be smart about it (well, except that time Danielle and I had to get a ride from a maybe drunk local who was the only driver available from the China-Kyrgyzstan border to Sary-Tash. Though he ended up introducing us to our favorite host family ever so… worth it?).
So does this mean I should skip the remote destinations and veer back onto the safer, beaten track? I would say absolutely not. While bride kidnapping technically is still a thing in Central Asia, I’ve heard more actual horror stories from Europe (did anyone else read Agness’s experience with Sexsurfing?), and the worst and most consistent sexual harassment I’ve experienced was during my two years working in Japan, which is widely considered one of the safest countries in the world.
So what about my stay in Dilijan? The home stay and time spent with Karin was by far my best experience of Armenian culture, but do I wish I could trade it for a more peaceful stay in a hotel?
Um… is it bad if I say no?
Seeing Khor Virap and Etchmiadzin as part of a tour of Armenia
My friends recently did the Best of Georgia & Armenia 10-day G Adventures tour and it sounded amazing. I wish I had managed to see so much of both countries! They said that their group was really fun, and they certainly had a more relaxing time than I did!
Check the itinerary and current prices for the Best of Georgia & Armenia tour here
Stefania @The Italian Backpacker says
I don’t know what to say. I think I’m going to experience some of these creepy men in Morocco. I’ll tell you what I think after this trip.
Silvia says
I think Corinne’s comment below gives some great advice. Your intuition will guide you through any tough situations in Morocco, so don’t let any fears about being alone there get in the way of your experience of such an amazing country. I’m incredibly jealous that you’re going and can’t wait to read about your time there!
Corinne says
Silvia, I love reading your adventures and I agree, you just need to pay close attention to what is going on around you. Be aware of the potential dangers, but don’t let it get in your way of experiencing something fantastic. Intuition is there to keep you safe, so it’s a balance to listening to it or letting it take over. It sounds to me that you have been doing a great job.
Silvia says
Such reassuring advice, Corinne! I think it’s really spot on, and I’m glad that you could articulate it so much better than I could in the post, ha.
Catherine says
It is so not bad if you say no! Just going out drinking on a Saturday night in the UK you have to put up with jerks being pervs, it’s one of those things you learn to live with! Shame about Garik’s creepiness, but sounds like a great experience in Armenia 🙂
Silvia says
That’s pretty much exactly what I tell myself in these situations, Catherine! Glad that we’re on the same page. Men can be creepers everywhere, and we don’t have to let them ruin our otherwise good experiences of a place.
Rana says
I can imagine myself in ur situation! 😀 (yelling on his face while Im trying kill him by my hands :D) :)), but u r so smart! just trust urself and keep on ur travelling around 🙂
Silvia says
Hahaha yeah that wasn’t quiiite how I handled the situation – I wish you had been there to scare him off! But don’t worry, the traveling will never stop! Well, unless the money stops… but then I’ll just save up money again for future travels. <3
Janice Stringer says
Hi there Silvia,
I’ve never fancied travelling to this part of Europe – How do you find it in comparison to other countries such as the UK for example? my heart has been stolen by the Antipodes. Although the little island of Ibiza managed to steal my heart away!
Silvia says
It’s definitely grittier than Western Europe – while the landscape is stunning, there’s also a lot of depressing Soviet architecture and a bit of a sense of melancholy. I liked that about Armenia though. I spent most of my summers growing up road tripping around Western Europe with my family, so I love that Armenia has a different feel to that. Armenia also still isn’t fully set up for tourism so it’s harder to get around (I had a leg up from speaking Russian), which makes it a bit more of an adventure. Plus it’s incredibly cheap and has quite a history!
I’ve always dismissed Ibiza as just a crazy party place, but one of my friends also recently went there and fell in love, so maybe I should at it to my travel list!
Janice Stringer says
Hi Silvia,
I think your explanation is the kind of thing I was expecting but knowing the tragic modern history of Europe, I would say I am not surprised. It has had a tough time really. There are so many views of places that are one sided – even my own! so I like to take another look and see what I find. Ibiza did not disappoint. It has this magnificent red earth – the likes I’ve only seen in Australia and as soon as you step into its agricultural heart you feel something more, something different to the coast.It has far more to offer than I ever believed possible.Please read my post and you will see its magnificence and its wild lavender that doesn’t grow off the island (or so I’ve been told!)
J in Beijing says
Phew- I’m very relieved you turned out not to be murdered! What a shame he turned out to be so creepy. Like others have said, you get people like that everywhere but you do have to keep your wits about you when travelling. I’m so interested in the nostalgia for the Soviet era. I guess I can understand their views- although in the west we tend to think the end of the Soviet Union was a good thing- life is not necessarily easier now. I’d love to know what they thought of it at the time and how their views have changed.
Silvia says
Yeah, talking to people in former Soviet countries has made me so interested in the Soviet Union. It’s definitely a lot more complicated than what I learned growing up in the U.S. I also wonder how they felt about it at the time – it makes me want to improve my Russian just so I can have more in depth conversations with people about it!
Vanessa @ The Travelling Colognian says
What an adventurous but also creepy experience! I am glad that nothing serious happened to you, but it’s a real shame that your homestay got a bittersweet touch. Karin seemed to be really lovely, it’s a shame that she is married to such a guy! Btw, like Joella mentioned, until not so long ago I didn’t know that some people in the former Soviet Republics wish to bring back the former Soviet Union. How come that you speak Russian? I guess, it makes travelling in Central Asia, Russia and in the Caucasian countries a lot easier.
Silvia says
I agree, Karin deserves a much better guy! And yeah, I had no idea so many people missed the Soviet Union until I started talking to people in Central Asia about it last fall. I took three semesters of Russian at university, for no better reason than loving Russian literature, but this past year it’s proved incredibly useful on my travels!
Artur Ghazaryan says
Dear Silvia,
I have found your blog while searching Dilijan photos;-)
I dont even know, what to stay about your stay at taxi drivers place, but, being an experiences solo-traveler in Asian counties, I guess you should know, that in all counties taxi drivers are not the best people to ask for an advice, or to stay at their place.
I and many of my friends had problems with taxi drivers in European countries, in Turkey, so, that in their character, BUT, there are honest taxi drivers as well.
Yes, many people of middle age would like to get back the Soviet years, as they had stability, they knew what is the next step in their life, which is kind of guaranteed by the USSR (School-College-University-Working at the factory and etc) And now, it is more marketing way of lifestyle, and many people can not manage to be competitive, as everywhere.
I personally, being born in USSR (in 1980) would not like to get back Soviet years!!!
Take care,
Cheers,
Artur
Silvia says
Yeah, my experience with this taxi driver was very mixed. Even though he ended up being a bit creepy, I so enjoyed spending time with his wife and learning more about Armenia, so I think in the end it was worth it? It’s often tough to decide between a safe but bland stay in a hotel, and a riskier but potentially more rewarding home stay.
It’s so interesting talking to people about Soviet times. I’ve heard so many different opinions about it!
Arthur says
Have you seen the Jukhtak Vank Monastery on the edge of Dilijan? It is among most wonderful destinations to visit in Armenia for tourists. It is an 11th– or 12th-century ancient monastery. Worth to see.
Silvia says
Thanks for the tip, I’ll have to check it out next time!
Mary says
Ah Silvia your story about Garik made my Friday and reminded me about my solo trip from Istanbul to Kayseri years ago (when i was young and also what I like to add – too brave). Shortly, I took a train, female compartment. One very old lady with tattooed face and two her granddaughers who would smoke in the compartment all the time. After a while the lady called me and showed the photo of her grandson (?) seeking for my approval..Sometime around 4 am I woke up hearing them speaking to the guy and describing me! I though I would end up rolled up in the carpet and kidnaped.. needless to say I could not close my eyes anymore..
Saro says
Haghartsin monastery is the one with the tree with a fantastic history. Anyone tell you about that one?
Armenian women says
it feels bad to know that you had not good time in my country. dont make certain image, Armenia is one of the best countries to live in.
Silvia says
I did have a scary experience in Dilijan, but if you read my other blog posts about Armenia (especially Yerevan and Khor Virap!) then you’ll see that I really loved your country. In fact I often tell people that Yerevan is one of my favorite cities in the world!
Ani Petrosyan says
I’m so sorry for your disappointing experience!
And you’re being so nice when writing all the positive things you saw in Armenia!
Thanks for that!
And also, as an experienced solo traveler, I pretty get your worries! But hope they’re not changing your passion to travel alone and maybe to Armenia again!
Believe me, there are way more kind and warm people there!
Anyway, if you’ll decide to go back to Armenia ( https://www.iarmenia.org/armenia/ ), have a look which sights you skipped and visit them!
Wish you good luck wherever you are!
Take care!
Leyla says
It’s so sad that solo female travellers have to chose between either stayin in a safe, but unpersonal hotel or stayin with locals but for the risk of being sexually harrassed.
Your text is from 2014, but the situation for women is still the same. I doubt that intuition helps, often the presumably nice guys turn out to be the creepy ones.
Ash says
Whenever I read read of experiences/opinions such as yours I’m always struck by how much they are like my own.
Except that I’m a male and Autistic. The similarities are so striking that I think there’s a nice for Autistics to be giving travel advice to naïve backpackers.
And I use ‘naïve’ advisedly as it’s a core feature of Autism. Without going into great detail, I’ve had to commit myself to the enforcement of emotional boundaries with women. I had a string of very unpleasant encounters that penultimately culminated in my being physically attacked by one of these women while I was travelling.
What I’ve realised is that I just want to be friends with everyone. Like a lost puppy. Women don’t want to be my friend. And what happens is that I don’t set clear boundaries with them so they just keep pushing and pushing to see where the line is.
When they finally realise I was never interested in them sexually, that it never even occurred to me, they go mental. And I mean MENTAL!
That saying about ‘a woman scorned’ is right on the money.
That’s why I always remind myself now: ‘women don’t want to be my friend’. That iron rule has kept me safe. And further it has forced me to look for friendship elsewhere; among men for starters.
We used to have fairy tales and epics and songs to warn children, to teach girls about naiveté. It was an integral part of our culture, of many cultures. It kept people safe.
If you’re not Autistic, you need to start thinking like one. Because you’re not reading the signs and it seems either many women are undiagnosed Autistics or they just never had a cultural education. As an adult I have had to compensate for this.
You don’t need to slander people as ‘creeps’ and whatever. Just as I don’t need to slander all women as sexually inept and frustrated psychos. Even though that’s been my exclusive experience. I know full well that I have found those people. That I needed to find them. I needed the tough love that life was dishing out and I only barely survived one encounter.
If you can learn about boundaries and really commit to being honest and taking responsibility for the messages you communicate you will be treading the path every Autistic has to take. And every child.