A few weeks ago I got a message from a reader who said that she’s just embarked on a three-month backpacking trip, and she’s having some trouble fitting in with the other backpackers at her hostel.
You see, instead of hitting one of the main tourist trails, she had opted for a less popular route, where everyone she met seemed to have already been to all the farthest corners of the world and have all the tales to tell. In other words, (in their words), they were real travelers.
This reader was actually me from the past, asking my future self for advice.
Okay not really, but she totally could have been! Because this is exactly the same thing I experienced on my first big backpacking trip through Central Asia.
Central Asia has become really popular with travelers in the past couple of years (and deservedly so!), but when I was there it was the sort place only the most experienced and intrepid travelers would dare to go. At least I think that’s how a lot of visitors to the region must have imagined it, because my friends and I sure seemed to annoy a lot of fellow backpackers with our giant backpacks full of sundresses and nail polish.
Central Asia was a place for real travelers, and it was very clear we did not belong.
That’s an exaggeration. For the most part all the people I’ve met on my travels have been super open-minded, and in fact I met several of my close friends in hostels. But it seems like there will always be that one judgy person who has to call me out for what I am: a tourist. Ouch!
I remember arriving with my friends in Khorog after hitchhiking with whom we guessed must have been the Tajik mafia, and excitedly telling the Polish guy at our hostel about it.
He translated the story to his Russian friend and they had a good laugh, after which he turned back to us to say, “The stories you tell, they’re such ordinary experiences. They’re not real adventures. Maybe if you keep traveling for long enough you’ll learn that.”
But the thing is, I haven’t. And when I hear people going on about travelers vs tourists, I’m utterly lost. Like, I’m definitely a tourist, but I’m also traveling, right? Or am I??
So to the woman asking how long until she too will be a real traveler, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you’re anything like me it may never happen.
I don’t travel with hand luggage only
I’m in a bunch of travel groups on Facebook because I love hearing other people’s stories and advice from around the world, but ugh can Facebook please come up with a filter so I don’t have to see any more photos of people leaving on a big trip, full of comments underneath telling the person they have way too much luggage and when they’re an experienced traveler they’ll learn to travel only with hand luggage.
80 countries later, I’m still checking luggage for all my longer trips. In fact, I’m considering checking luggage for a two-week trip to Japan and Russia this spring. How am I supposed to fit all my wool in a carry on? And I’d really enjoy my time so much more if I could bring along my favorite (over 100 ml) bottle of dry shampoo.
I sometimes even travel with a suitcase
Yes, backpacks are super convenient and let you traverse deserts, cobbled streets, and rivers with ease, but they’re also really hard to keep organized and hurt my shoulders! So if I’m headed to a destination with smooth surfaces, sorry travelers, I’m going to bring a suitcase instead.
I choose hotels over hostel dorms
I used to be so adamant that hostels were superior to hotels in every way, but then I started thinking more and more about how nice it would be to have my own bathroom, maybe even a bathtub, and some privacy?! To be honest, I just really love a bit of hotel luxury now and again.
I wear makeup when I travel
While all that time in the sun makes a lot of people tanned and gorgeous, it just makes my skin pink and my eyelashes so blonde they disappear. So I’m going to hold onto that tube of mascara and my tinted moisturizer.
I’m super pale
As that guy at the hostel once turned to tell me, “and how long have you been traveling for? Three days? Have you even gone outside yet – you’re so pale.”
I skip pretty much all the museums
I’ve tried to become a cultured adult, but something in me just shuts down in museums.
I like to go shopping while traveling
And instead of soaking in the culture at a museum, I always seem to head to the shopping district to check out the local fashion. Did I mention that I travel with checked luggage?
I go hiking in dresses
Okay, I’m also in awe of those women who manage to hike up mountains in long, flowing dresses (teach me your ways!), but I’d also way rather hike in a dress and leggings than like, anything else. Hiking pants aren’t as comfortable!
I take jumping photos
Tourist.
I’ve never bungee jumped
Or skydived, or done pretty much any other adventurous activity. Honestly I think I might be too scared of heights to ever be a real traveler…
I don’t have any airport lounge access
I know, I’m such a n00b.
I’d rather stay in and chat with my hosts than see the sites
I’ve missed many a bucket list experience because I’ve ended up staying at my guest house all day chatting with the owners, much to the horror of my fellow travelers.
What, you haven’t even hiked Ak-Suu Gorge yet?
Nope, I just spent the afternoon snacking on kurd balls with my new friend Askar.
Yes, I spent the majority of my time in Tehran sat inside the same cafe.
Sometimes I stay in and order pizza
Who needs to experience Ukrainian nightlife when you could be ordering room service and watching Netflix?
Or raiding the local supermarket…
I’m not into maps
I feel like travelers are all really into maps and have amazing ones decorating all the walls of their homes, but… I don’t really get it? I mean, I get it in theory, but I just can’t make myself that excited about a map. I like looking at them on my phone though!
I don’t have a travel tattoo
I love you, travel, but I’m not willing to make that kind of commitment.
I post filtered Instagram photos of myself on my travels
I’ve never been to Chile
Or a whole lot of other must-see places in the world.
I travel with my laptop
Actually I’ve heard mixed opinions on this one.
Some people tell me that real travelers don’t bring any electronics with them, while others say that only tourists can afford to leave their laptops at home.
Make up your mind, guys!
I don’t scuba dive
How can you even call yourself a traveler if you don’t want to explore under the sea?
I’ve heard it all before. But 1. even snorkeling totally freaks me out and 2. I guess I don’t have that much wanderlust after all.
Do you make the cut?
Michaela says
Haha this is so much more relatable than the ‘real traveller’ stories though! I think the important thing is we all have the same passion for exploring new places and cultures, right?
PS: I’ve been following your blog for quite a while now and it has been one of the first pages to inspire my backpacking trip. Next month I’m going backpacking for the first time and I definitely don’t feel like a real traveller! 😀 Btw I’ll also be in Japan this spring, would be lovely to meet you 🙂
jennifer says
I am with you on everything except the map. How can you not love a good scratch map?!?
People do not need to be whatever their definition of a “real traveler” is to have great stories to tell. I have a friend who once told a hilarious story about going to his local supermarket. It is all in your ability to tell stories period. The background location is irrelevant.
I also have never traveled with a backpack. Although I now get really grossed out when I open my closet and see my former suitcase that is almost as tall at me. I would never travel with that again and yet I still don’t throw it out.
Sylvie says
Haha, I love this post. I’m ‘guilty’ (… I guess?) of doing some of these things, too — esp. the hotels over hostel dorms thing; I’m a bit of a neat freak AND I love having a room of my own to come to after a long day.
I love the igloo picture, by the way! It’s so vibrant. What filter is that? (Unless it’s not an Instagram filter, lol.)
jorge ramirez says
Hehehe, I concur with you about the museums, I dont visit museums , well is not on my priority list when I visit cities, I like to walk the streets and get lost around the city.
Out of curiosity, the picture with a big red paint and u sit down is from a Saint Petersburg Museum ?
Tosh Bene says
hahah yessss!! I also am the pale one on ALL my trips! And yup…I bring a checked luggage all the time.I don’t care what others say, it’s so damn hard to bring a carry on to Iceland!! Like HOW do you fit all your boots, coats and sweaters in a carry on? I have a sweater that literally would take up my whole case if that were to happen! lol I loved this post!! =) xo
Isabel says
It’s like you took the words out of my mouth. Like what is wrong with doing all those things?! Why do people have a problem if you like yo wear dresses (they are super comfortable!), stay in hotels (they are super convenient!) and post pictures!!! Why oh why! That guy that you describe in the comments, I’ve met them before. It seems like there are these people, particularly men, who seem to be upset because you don’t have to try so hard to be “an original” to still have an amazing time! Really love the way you travel and the places you go and how you see them, who cares if it’s not Chile (for now)!
Monica says
haha if thats the case then I am not a real traveler either. And I don’t even care. I travel and see the world at my pace and my way and I don’t give a damn what anyone’s opinion is on that because we all see things differently. I had a similar experience when I first went to SE Asia and I quickly learned I didn’t care. Good for you for knowing what you like and not trying to conform to “real traveler” ideas.
Renates Travels says
I can relate to a lot of these things, haha. But I do love maps, museums and I do mostly travel with hand luggage. 😉 What I don’t like are all the “experts” everywhere trying to tell you what you are and what you aren’t just because of where you’ve been, haven’t been or how you travel. No matter how you do it there are always “experts” lurking about trying to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, and they are doing it right. Where’s the fun in that? It’s either “Oh you’ve been to that few countries, try to travel some more ” or “Oh, you’ve been to that many countries, but did you really experience them?”…. Instead of them spending time trying to decide what’s right and wrong, they should spend their time having fun on the road and meeting new people with an open and polite attitude. We should all just be ourselves and do what we want or what we ourselves enjoy, and no try to conform to whatever ideals these socalled “experts” say is right.
Sabrina says
Haha this is so funny. You literally took the words out of my mouth. Except a few things, but in general i’m on your side. I cant stand those people telling me i’m a tourist and not a traveller 😀 Who cares anyway? Why do they think they’re better than any other person travelling? As soon as somebody starts talking about the tourist vs. traveller debate I’m done with that person 😀 Specially when I hear they don’t visit any sights at all because they’re too touristy… Well guys – You should see there’s usually a reason (amazing architecture, history or whatever) why so many people go there.
Still – I also love exploring paths others might have not taken.
Arielle says
Ugh, the “real traveler” versus tourist thing. The minute I see any mention of that, I click out because it’s just going to be a load of pretentious bullshit. There’s more than one way to skin a cat; there’s more than one way to travel the world. People need to get over themselves!
Richelle says
This is so great! The things “travelers” say, especially in hostels, can be so obnoxious. When I lived in China and only traveled 2-3 weeks at a time, I always felt like people were judging me for my big laptop or pale skin. When people asked me how long I was traveling for, I felt like I always had to add “but I live in China” to get some sort of respect. I even once had a Filipino guy from Manila backpacking around his OWN country tell me that I’m not a “real traveler”, I’m a tourist because I wanted to see Bohol and didn’t travel with a pocket knife….
Emily says
Nobody becomes an “experienced traveler” overnight. You have to go out and you know, see one city or country at a time. The tourist/traveler thing drives me insane.
Hayley Simpson says
1. I am also too pale, especially for an Australian – we unfortunately aren’t all tanned goddesses!
2. I also don’t do museums, unless they’re free 😉
3. And I’ve been known to head to the shops and look at the local fashion. I also think it’s where the best people watching is.
Katie Featherstone says
You’re obviously happy doing whatever makes you feel the most content. I can totally understand that and don’t think you could ever be criticised for spending too much time talking to locals!
Frédéric Paulussen says
I don’t really agree with you here. I do think you’re a traveler, and a great one even. Traveling is not about having better stories than someone else. Or even about going to the most remote places. Traveling is about doing new things and exploring yourself, doesn’t matter where.
I think you learned a lot about yourself, as I am reading your blog for a while now. (Only recently started commenting, sorry my bad!). Even going to the Colosseum in Rome, which is a super touristy thing to do, can teach you more.
Of course, I enjoy a trip through the woods of Scandinavia more than a climb of the Eiffel tower. I just don’t think one of the two is necessarily better than the other. And why not just do both?
Regards
Fred
Aurelie De blignieres says
You advices are gold thank you so much! Trying to foccus only on traveling and to work from my lap top but it is hard as I just treated doing it! It would mean the world to me if you could check my blog and giving me your feedback… thank you again!
Tomasz says
Hey, this way you are so much more real. You are YOU traveller. Isn’t that just essential? :))
Kisses.
Camila @ Adventitious Violet says
hahaha is Chile that in? I was so confused to see it there! My family is from Chile so been going for the past 25 years and most of the time people have no clue where that is haha
I’m definitely with you on most of these! I think I can travel with a carry on to warmer places, but to most western hemisphere countries, any trip more than a week or two I can’t just handle a carry on. Especially true if I want to bring an additional pair of shoes!
Susanne says
This tourist vs traveler discussion. I hate it. Why do people have to put people into categories ALWAYS? Why can’t people just travel in ways they enjoy travelling and let other people enjoy their own way of travelling?
I’m definitely no “real traveller”. I have no interest in remote continents, no interest in Asia or India or South America. I just want to go to a few countries that I love. I basically just go to Ireland and Italy. (although I’d love to explore Scotland more, and Norway)
I’m definitely with you about checked-in luggage, and most other things! It seems that “real travellers” don’t let themselves have any fun during trips but only try to meet certain criteria!
silvia says
ahah I love this post!It felt like I wrote that, I find myself in every word 🙂 Who needs museums when you have street food and funky cafes?
silvia says
Ahahah I love this post!I agree on every single thing you say! Who need museums when you have street food and funky cafes? 🙂
Joella says
The only time I’ve ever bungee jumped was when I was 19 and went on a packaged Club 18-30s holiday with all my friends… so I don’t really know what that means for the “real traveler” debate haha!
Cassidy @ Jetplane Jean says
Girlllll, I feel as if I’m reading a page you stole from my travel diary. THIS is me to a T, and I’ve always been a bit self-conscious when traveling and not looking like a “real traveler” when all my stuff spills out onto the hostel room floor as I try to stuff way too much into a backpack that just isn’t working for me. There will always be those people who think a certain, rough, minimalist way on the road is the only way. I’ve learned to embrace I’m a bit of a hot mess who likes to book private hostel rooms when I can, a bright red lipstick, and has no problem not seeing every must-do sight. Also, no one should be telling you how to do anything after your feet have touched 80 countries, you deserve all the Netflix nights & perfectly wheeling suitcases!
Marcus says
Like earlier comments mentioned, this tourist vs travellers thingy is so pretentious and wanky. If i had met that Russian guy in the hostel, i would have said a few nasty words to him ! (I really hate the word “touristy” too ! )Being 43 already, i have also reached the point in my life where i don’t give a s**t about what other people think of my lifestyle / travel choices. As long as you are doing / seeing things that make you happy without harming others, then carry on doing it.
PS : Great blog by the way. I am going to Norway and Sweden for the first time in June/July, and i found your blog and the Scandinavian travel group on Facebook very helpful indeed.
Silvia says
Haha right? I wish I could go back and yell at that guy too! And that’s so exciting – I hope you love Scandinavia.
Michelle says
I loved this post! Just yesterday I was telling a friend about my recent trip to Germany, Switzerland, and Italy. When I told her we didn’t eat much “traditional” food along the way, she couldn’t believe I would skip the change to experience the local food. To me, eating in a local restaurant of any kind is eating local- we were with the locals! It’s crazy to me that people compare their travels to other people’s- they’ll never be the same. Thanks for sharing this post, and for reassuring all of us “tourists” just trying to make it as a traveler. 😉
Silvia says
Yess! In fact in so many places the traditional restaurants aren’t where locals eat anyway, so why does it matter? So silly.
Kat says
Ah thank you so much for this, it made me laugh and made me feel a bit better about myself too! I travel loads but I can’t resist a good hotel (or if I’m in a hostel, a private room), and often turn up with my wheely suitcase to the horror of other travellers!
I don’t understand why people think getting a good rest or a sore back means that this are more worthwhile – is travel only meaningful if I’m suffering!
Thanks for this, and love your blog!
LK says
This post is everything I’ve been thinking about the last couple months! On my last backpacking trip, random travellers I met on buses, etc. would ask me how much I was paying for my hostel, how many litres my backpack was, if I had managed to learn Spanish perfectly – turns out, according to a lot of people, I was doing everything wrong and should have been Couchsurfing, travelling with nothing but a microfleece and a single flipflop, and I should have learned another language fluently before ever leaving my home country. I wish people would just let everyone get on with it! I travel because I love the world and I love seeing it, not because I want to be in some kind of weird competition.
In the fall, I went on my first group tour, took a rolling suitcase, and stayed in hotels. All great decisions for that particular trip. I’m definitely still going to backpack as well, but I think everyone should just do whatever feels best to them and not be so worried about what everyone else is doing.
Alex Waltner says
Haha, so many relatable points here. I definitely love having a night in and just raid the supermarket or bring back a pizza to the room and watch a movie. My girlfriend goes hiking in dresses and the hikers always stare at us like we’re freaks. I also find museums quite boring, I mean real historical places are super cool, especially if they’re well-preserved, but the adventurous feeling gets taken away a bit at museums I think.
I don’t care for maps either, only Google Maps if I get lost or need to know where a place is 🙂 And this debate of being a real traveler vs tourist is so tiresome. I don’t understand why some experienced travelers must be such travel snobs. I mean traveling is said to make you more humble, and I can vouch for that, but I guess it doesn’t apply to everyone!
+1 for snorkeling and diving too, I’m a land crab 😂 and bringing the laptop is a must as a travel blogger and instagrammer. But, I guess sometimes it would be nice to leave it and have a digital detox.
Silvia says
Yeah I did take a trip recently without even bringing a camera and it felt quite freeing!
Kevin says
hahahaha great post!!
To each their own, no?
There’s nothing wrong with being a tourist sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with being “a traveler” sometimes. As long as a person takes trips and experiences both disciplines at least some time in their life then all is well in my opinion.
For example, some expeditions are not for the faint of heart, like going deep into places no one has ever been before, maybe with some danger involved. Tourists should not be there. The experiences one has on these trips are like nothing else in the world. Likewise, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with pampering yourself at a boutique resort for a while! But if you only did one or the other exclusively that would be kinda lame
Melissa says
There are some weird people about!
I can’t understand why they are so determined to put people into categories.
I don’t care whether these people think I am a ‘real one’ or a tourist, but I do mind when they burden me with wanting to discuss it.
Central Asia: I went to Kyrgyzstan in the days before many went there.
I am still unsure if I ever decided on anything I did or anyplace I went there or if I just rolled around and accidentally ended up doing and seeing. When there is almost no travel infrastructure it really does make everything so difficult and sometimes unsafe.
Now that you confirm that more travellers are going to Central Asia these days I think I would like to visit some of the other countries there. I will put them on my ‘when the covid 19 is gone’ list. Though, I haven’t looked yet to see what getting the visas is like. That was another huge uncertainty when I went to Kyrgyzstan.