Some of you might remember my friend Danielle as my former blog partner. Those were the days!
Like, remember that time we hitchhiked with the Tajik mafia? How we spent an afternoon in Europe’s drug capital? The 72-hour train ride on hard seats? And when we had to sneak across the Kazakh border when we forgot to register our visas?
Aah, the memories.
I also happened to remember that Danielle and I once wrote a travel romance guide – and we never published it! But in the name of nostalgia I figure, why not share it now?
The young people will just have to let me know if any of this is still true, or if times have changed. (And sorry, we wrote this based on our experiences, so it’s just about guys!)
The Internet is full of helpful guides for choosing your next travel destination, whether it be a luxury vacation or yearlong backpacking trip. Do you love animals? Have you always dreamed of hiking high into the mountains to explore ancient ruins?
They’re all very helpful, but often ignore one key factor we all keep in mind while planning our travels: what handsome stranger will I meet on the road?
Now, we can’t tell you exactly whom you’ll meet, but here’s our rough guide for how to choose a destination based on what sort of guy will be sleeping in the dorm bed next to yours.
Southeast Asia
He’s easy to spot, because he’s wearing a neon singlet bearing the name of a local beer. He’s most likely college aged, and there’s a great probability he’s European. Don’t let his frat boy antics discourage you, you’re in Southeast Asia after all; embrace the debauchery!
Just remember, you’ll need to be flexible with your plans, as he will likely want you to join him and twelve of his bros in Koh Phanang for the next full (or half, or new, or black) moon party. Don’t forget the body paint!
China
Here you’ll find the brainiacs, the MBA grads, and the English language teachers. He’s incredibly driven, will happily show off his Chinese skills at the local restaurant, and introduce you to his crowd of younger Chinese admirers (his students).
He might not be the hottest of hunks (we’re not saying he’ll be ugly!), but he will certainly have the means to take you out to a lavish feast of Peking duck – if not now, at least when he’s mastered Chinese and landed that dream job in Beijing.
Central Asia
There’s at least a fifty percent chance he’s Israeli, which means you’ll not only have a rugged outdoorsman who just returned from a weeklong trek through Kyrgyzstan’s snow-capped mountains, but you’ll be in the safe hands of a former soldier.
He’ll be so excited to see a female traveler in Central Asia that he’ll immediately invite you to his yurt for a gourmet dinner cooked on his portable gas stove. It can get cold at night in the Stans, so it will be nice to have someone to share your sleeping bag with!
Africa
He’s an adventurer and has a big heart – or at least one of the two. Here you’ll find NGO workers and volunteers set on making the world a better place. Caring, sweet, and sensitive, he just has seventeen months left of Peace Corps service before he’s free to take off with you.
On the other hand, you could find yourself a bit of a bad-boy adventurer who hasn’t trimmed his beard in a few months and cast aside his shoes months ago. He’ll regale you with stories of people he’s met who are secretly delivering weapons to Somalia and hitchhiking through the Congo. If you’re lucky he’ll sneak you into a few national parks. Either way, you’ll come out with some great stories!
The Middle East
Are you into politics? He is. He might not have a lot of time for you because he’s busy studying Arabic so that he can get into the State Department. His availability is unclear; he has a local girlfriend, but she’s not allowed to date him, so he’s kind of available.
He has his heart set on solving the Middle East crisis, so you’ll have to understand if he’s constantly in a state of frustration. He’ll teach you more than you ever thought you needed to know about the current situation over there, but if you’re thinking of starting a serious relationship, keep in mind that he might soon be stationed in a war zone.
Europe
This will be a romance of culture and clichés. He’s hopping around Europe for the summer after wrapping up a semester abroad. You’ll spend your days sneaking kisses in museum corners and conversing over cappuccinos at cafes so hip, you swear never to frequent another Starbucks again. Prepare to be wined and dined in a way previously unknown to you – never mind that his parents are still footing the bill.
Try to be patient when he regales you with story after story of the wild nights he had clubbing in Berlin, Budapest and so on; remember, he’s not yet of drinking age in the US (what, you really thought he was older?).
South America
You didn’t think it was possible for the human body to be so perfectly toned, but it turns out, with the right amount of surfing and yoga, it is. You’ve never done yoga? No problem, he’s a bit of a guru, and he’ll be sure to teach you all of the positions. As if that wasn’t enough to make you swoon, he reads you poems in Spanish.
Between the morning meditation sessions on Machu Picchu and Ayahuasca fueled spiritual adventures in the Amazon, you got dreadlocks and missed your flight home. Just roll with it.
Australia
Tanned skin, sun-bleached hair, that accent – what’s not to love about Australian men? Or really, any guys who have spent some time in Australia.
He’ll teach you how to surf, you’ll hike together in Tasmania, and you’ll drive his beat-up old camper van through the Outback. Just be careful not to get too attached – he never completed the farm work for his working holiday visa, so he’s about to be deported.
Did we miss anything? Share in the comments!
Joella says
Haha! Very funny but… also pretty accurate really. Well in my imagination… can’t really comment as I met Justin my first day living overseas which obviously spoiled any future travel romances. 😉 Which one was Dan? 😁
Silvia says
Haha well Dan is a European I met in Thailand, but he wouldn’t be caught dead in a neon tank – or probably at a full moon party. He’s actually the traveler in Australia! At least, he did three years of working holiday in Australia in New Zealand, where he got very tan, blonde, and apparently everyone thought his accent was Australian.
Arielle says
The Europe one is crazy accurate! I’ve met too many 20 year olds who want to tell me how mature and experienced they are now that they’ve lived in Europe for a year. Then I tell them I live here and they deflate a bit, heheh.
Silvia says
Right? I think every time I take a train in Europe I end up next to some kid telling me about his semester abroad.
Arielle says
But the look on their faces when they realize you are way past college age is priceless!
Katie says
I haven’t had the pleasure of chasing boys all over the world so can’t speak to accuracy, but OMG THIS IS AMAZING. Good work.
Silvia says
haha glad you enjoyed it!
Tiffany says
Haven’t made it past Australia and Se Asia on my round-the-world travels but those areas are spot on and the rest sounds pretty much like what I’d expect. Very funny….. But if this is true, I think there’s certain parts of the world I’ll prepare to not find romance in lol
Silvia says
Haha yeah, we weren’t always super kind with these stereotypes!
Tempesst says
Haha this is amazing and SO accurate!
Silvia says
Haha glad you agree!
Jasilyn Albert says
You forgot about men in Russia 😛 There aren’t many foreigners here so the locals will make sure you know your defined gender role and talk to you about Russian/American relations. But actually a lot of them are really nice so I can’t say too many bad things.
Silvia says
I traveled through Russia with my boyfriend so I didn’t experience that side of the culture, haha
Ashley says
This is amazing and so spot-on. And I can attest the Africa one is fully accurate – though there are also lots of startup founders and embassy workers.
Silvia says
You’ll have to do more research for me, ha
Anne Morgan says
Seems like some things haven’t changed. I recognise these stereotypes from the ’80s and ’90s!
Silvia says
Haha love that!
Melissa says
This is hilarious, I’m so glad you decided to post it in the end! 😀
Silvia says
Yay I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Victoria @The British Berliner says
‘Love it! Yep! The European stereotype is spot on. That’s how I met my first German boyfriend. In Prague. I had graduated and was now living and working there in a British company. He was still an undergrad…..!
Silvia says
Hahaha love that!
Melissa says
Hahaha! That’s hilarious! I love this!
It reminded me of all the crazy stories I got abroad! 😂😂😂😂
I’m curious now. Where did you meet your boyfriend?
Anna says
This is sooo good! I can’t stop laughing. I think I have met all of them 🙂
Marvi says
this was very entertaining. i loved it!
Jessica C says
hehehe. So cute! I’d stick to southern Europe for the romantic types…or at least that’s what I hear 😉 Since I’m already married, I’ll share this with others who may need it 🙂
Nuraini says
Africa then. I see now that I have wasted my time on the wrong regions. 😉
Antonia Uri says
Thanks for writing this, as a single girl travelling it was pretty funny and relatable!
Anna says
It’s interesting how different they all look in the several countries right… And in the end, all faces are beautiful <3
Nam says
This is the best guide I’ve seen haha! I so agree about the singlet!
Unfortunately I hadn’t managed to meet someone who wines and dines me in Europe – always next time haha
Nina says
LOL this is awesome Silvia! Those neon-shirted boys in SE Asia… NEVER! haha. Although, I wore neon a few times too…But we won’t go there. And I totally pictured myself with an Aussie boy when I was planning on living there but met my (American) bf before I got there haha. No worries, I got my Aussie experience while in Thailand lol. ;-p
Ellis says
Reading this really made my day. I laughed so much and it is pretty true. South East Asia neon shirted boys I’ve avoided, for me the political discussions in the Middle East are more interesting, but it might explain why I am still single.
Kaisa Lee says
Bahahaha the Southeast Asia guy… TOO REAL. It’s like frat boys gone global over there. Thanks you for the lolz!
Casey says
Cute!! You forgot the US, though. And what about local boys? I’m happily married now, but I can’t help but smile time to time thinking about my travel boyfriends. 😉
Lindsay says
Loved it! Maybe there can be a follow up post…Flirting in Every Language…Flirting by Country